A Secret Past
by brit10brat
Summary: When someone from Alex's past turn out to be a special victim, things start to change drastically for Liv and her. CHAPTER 36 is UP! It's not great and need some inspiration please! Please R&R!
1. Meghan's Horror

**If you've seen them on the show I don't own them. However if you haven't they are figures of my imagination. :)**

It was 1 o'clock in the morning and Meghan Chrestler was attempting to finish her Latin homework when she heard a familiar rapping on the window outside of her own. She got up from her desk and walked over to the window, opened it before she sat on the window seal and brought her legs up to her chest wrapping her arms around them.

"Hey Kayley"

"Hey… Sorry… I just couldn't sleep and I saw that your night light was on"

"Yeah they (her foster parents) were yelling and I just couldn't work while they were arguing. Have you finished your Latin?"

Kayley shook her head and it was then that Meghan noticed the tears in her best friend's eyes. As Meghan glanced down Kayley's body she saw fresh finger shaped bruises that almost blended in with all of the other marks on her arms. Meghan reached out for her best friend's hand and Kayley quickly grabbed it. The two had such a unique friendship that was forged because of the abuse they endure from their so called fathers. They knew what each other's life was like without an explanation. They were each other's life line because their windows weren't more than two feet apart. Their physically closeness allowed them to spend many nights comforting each other after an attack. Sometimes they would just sit on their window seals and talk other times after particularly bad attacks they would crawl through the windows and hold each other. Showing the other that they could be loved that they were loved.

Then they heard the pounding of feet coming up the stairs. Meghan knew that he was coming for her she let go of Kayley's hand and as she shut the window she whispered "Get away, don't let him see you."

He came into her room and his pants and boxers were already off. Meghan half leaped half fell off the windows seal. He picked her up before she could stand up properly and threw her into the wall. He then picked her up again and ripped her pants off.

"Please no don't please…" She begged

He slapped her hard across the face and as much as she tried to fight them the tears began to fall. He tore her shirt off of her and unclasped her bra. Then in a second he was inside her thrusting hard. She screamed and he slapped her again. He let out a pleasurable groan as he continued to thrust inside her. He grabbed her breast and squeezed. She cried, begged, and screamed, so he continued to beat her.

Kayley was frozen from shock at what she was witnessing. She had never actually seen the abuse before. Finally the shock lifted enough for her to do something. She picked up her cell phone and dialed '911.'

"911, what is your emergency?" The operator asked when the call was connected.

"My friend is being beaten and raped."

"M'am where are you?"

"3741 Prairie Lane" She gave Meghan's address before hanging. She didn't want the police to know she was the one calling or she could look forward to a beating herself. She waited until she could see the flashing lights before closing the curtain. She wanted to go and comfort her friend but she knew that if she did that her father would be upset and because she truly wanted nothing more than to survive she just got under the sheets and prayed as tears silently dripped from her cheeks.

Meghan was in so much pain that she didn't think she could move. She just closed her eyes trying desperately to erase the last twenty minutes from her mind. She still lay ther on her bed naked, cold, bruised, and bleeding. The tears were falling uncontrollably and her body shook from the trauma.

Then her door opened again and even though it hurt she curled into a tight ball and tried to go somewhere else.

"Sweetheart" A woman's voiced sweetly. "My name is Christina and I'm an EMT" Meghan lifted her head to see a brunette standing next to her bed. The woman covered Meghan with a blanket. "The police have arrested the man who hurt you and if it's alright with you I'm going to bring my friend Nathan so we can get you out of here and to the hospital."

Meghan nodded. She stretched out as Nathan came in with a back board. They rolled her on her side and placed the board under her. They strapped her to it and carried it down stairs. By the time they walked out of the house Meghan's eyes were closed for now she was safe enough to sleep.

**This is my first fic and there will be some Alex/Liv action in the next chapter. I just needed to set this up first. Please review with any advice you might have for me. **


	2. Another Case

**Well my updates will always be at night because I babysit durning the day. Hope you enjoy the newest installment. Oh and Alex and Liv are finally in the picture. Last thing I do not own anyone who has appear on the show or another one of Dick Wolf's creations. However if you haven't seen them on the show then they come from my imagination.**

Alex fell back in to Olivia's arms after riding out her lover's release.

"That was amazing! Alex *you* are absolutely amazing!" Olivia said as she began to intertwine their bodies. Alex smiled she was feeling pretty good about what had just occurred and just wanted to be close to the woman she loved. They lay there clinging to each other it had been 3 days since they had a case but because of paper work neither one of them had been home at a decent hour in a week. They were nearly asleep when Olivia's phone rang.

Before answering the phone she looked at the alarm clock noting that it was 3 a.m. She untangled herself from Alex and the sheets before answering the phone. Alex rolled over and rested her head on her lover's shoulder hoping she could hear the conversation.

"Benson"

"We caught a case. Fourteen year-old raped and beaten by her foster father. We have the guy in custody but he is refusing to talk. It also appears that he murdered his wife. She was found DOA." Elliot Explained

"What hospital" Olivia asked as she began it get up. Alex sat up leading against the headboard and watching Olivia gather up her clothes.

"Mercy General"

"Okay, can she talk?"

"No she is sedated for the procedure. Cragen says come on in and when she does wake he'll send you to the hospital for a statement."

"Who is getting the rape kit?"

"Warner is going to have a tech pick it up"

"Alright I'll be there in 30."

"Baby?" Alex asked hoping to get the rest of the details.

"Hmm" Olivia responded.

"Do I need get up?" Olivia finished dressing and grabbed an over sized NYPD t-shirt and bring it to Alex.

"No gorgeous" She said as Alex put the t-shirt on. "Just lie down and get some rest. I'll call you when I know exactly what's going on." She pulled the covers over Alex before leaning down and placing her lips on her lovers. Alex deepened the kiss in a heartbeat and pulled Olivia close. When they separated they rested against each other's forehead.

"I love you Alex." Olivia whispered.

"I love you too" And with that Olivia pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. As she left the room Alex called out. "Liv"

"Yeah"

"Be Safe."

"You Bet" Olivia walked out of the apartment and rode the elevator down to the ground floor.

When she stepped off the elevator Thomas, the night door man, got up to open the door for her. "Work detective?" He asked.

"Yep. Could you call a cab please?" Olivia asked as Tom walked to the edge of the sidewalk and hailed a cab for her. As he opened the door of the car he said, "Good luck, Detective and come home safe." She smiled at him before the door closed.

Thomas always said this to her when she left for work in the middle of the night. Before Alex, Olivia had confided in Tom, and yet again when she went into witness protection. Alex had at one point felt threatened by Thomas until Olivia pointed out that he was gay. They did care a lot about each other and he was more like a brother to her than any of the guys at SVU. And because of their relationship Thomas always told her to 'come home safe.'

Her phone rang when she was just around the corner from the one-six.

"Benson"

"Hey it's Cragen, the girl is awake."

"So I'll head to the hospital." She hung up the phone.

"Sorry but can you take me to Mercy General"

"Sure Lady but it'll cost ya."

During the cab ride to the hospital, Olivia prayed that this case would be open and shut. She didn't want to have to make this teenage girl relive what she'd been through. When she got to the hospital she flashed her badge at the emergency room nurse Jayne. Jayne recognized Olivia and before she got to the desk had looked up the patient information. "She's in the pediatric wing, 4th floor, room 419"

"Thanks Jayne" Olivia said as she walked over to the elevator. When she got up to the fourth floor she walked over to the nurses station.

Flashing her badge she stated "I'm Detective Olivia Benson with the Special Victims Unit Manhattan."

"I already sent the kit" A nurse walking into the stations said. "She's awake if you want to talk to her."

As Olivia began to walk down the hallway another nurse said, "Hey Olivia I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show up"

"Sorry Nancy, Captain just didn't think I needed to be here to watch her sleep."

"Well Liv she is in really bad shape, and she's really gone through hell. Make sure you put the bastard away." And with that Olivia nodded and knock on Meghan's door.

**I promised myself that I would never write a cliffy but here it is. Tune in tomorrow to see what Meghan has to say.**


	3. The Investigation Begins

**Again If you've seen them on television they are not mine. But if you haven't they came from my very own imagination.**

At the precinct, Munch and Fin were attempting to interrogate the man they had arrested. He had refused to talk. He hadn't even asked for a lawyer and thus they were getting nowhere. Cragen pulled them from the room. "Alright that was a waste of time. Put him in the lock up. See if that will shake him up enough to talk" The detectives did as they were told. Munch put on a pot of coffee and they sat down to get some paper work done while they had the time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * At the Hospital* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As Olivia began to open the door, a short, red-headed woman came up to the door, "Excuse me," the woman said questioningly toward Olivia.

Olivia pulled her badge out as she reply "Detective Olivia Benson Manhattan Special Victims, who are you?"

"I'm Sarah Munson, Meghan's case worker. I'm meeting her advocate here to discuss what will happen to her now."

"Well Ms. Munson, maybe if you had been interested in what was happening to Meghan before right now she wouldn't be here."

"Excuse me Detective but you don't know anything about my work" Sarah said as her eyes swarmed with tears. She did feel guilty but, she just had too many cases and couldn't check up on all of them like she was supposed to.

"Well I do know that you were responsible for that girl's safety and you let her down." Olivia responded and with that Sarah turned on her heels heading for the elevator.

Olivia then proceeded into the room shocked at who was already there. "Serena?"

"Hey Olivia, good to see that Cragen finally sent someone."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm Meghan's advocate; I'm meeting her case worker here. In fact she should be here any minute."

Olivia then turned to look at the blue eyes that were staring at her. It was a good thing she hadn't eaten yet because she immediately felt sick to her stomach. The girl's left arm was in a cast and her face was covered in bruises. Her nose was taped and swollen. Her bottom lip was busted in three places. Olivia had seen abused kids but this was just awful. This was the worst she'd seen in a while. She began to open her mouth when Serena interjected, "Meghan this is Detective Olivia Benson she is the one that will be taking your statement when you are really to tell us what happened." Meghan nodded her head and turn to Olivia.

"I just want this to be over with can we do it now?"

Olivia turned to Serena hoping for an explanation as to why Meghan seemed to want to coroporate so easily. "I've already explained that in order to keep this man from ever hurting Meghan again she has to tell the police what he did and they will make sure that he could never come anywhere near her." Serena informed her.

"Yeah just tell me what happen from the beginning." Olivia said comfortingly as she took out a tape recorder and placed it on her bed. Meghan looked at Olivia as her eyes filled with tears. She opened and closed her mouth several times before anything came out. Serena reached out and squeezed her hand for reassurance.

"After dinner," Meghan started, "they were arguing so I went to my room, put my headphones on and blasted music. I took my head phones off about eleven or so and the screaming had stopped so I started on my homework. About 1:15 he came into my room. I was taking a break and sitting on the window seal. I sort of fell and he picked me up and threw me into a wall. I started to whimper so he threw me on the bed while ripping my clothes off. Then…" She swallowed hard and Serena squeezed her hand.

"It's okay Meghan we can take a break." Serena said as she handed Meghan a tissue.

Olivia turned off the recorder and looked at the badly battered girl. "Meghan I have to ask." She waited for some sign of acknowledgement, "Did your case worker know that you were being abused?" Meghan's eyes got wide. She looked into Olivia chocolate eyes and felt a deep sense of trust. Meghan nodded. "Okay, well Serena and I will let you get some sleep. We'll come back in a little while to see how you are doing." Then Olivia and Serena left Meghan alone with her thoughts.

Meghan started to cry. She just wanted Kayley to come and find her. Then she wouldn't feel like she was all alone. Because no matter how many nurses came in Kayley was the only one who could truly understand how she was feeling.

**Hope you have enjoyed the latest chapter. It is my goal to continue to update everyday. Please, please review, I want to know what you think of the story so far.**


	4. A Name for the Perp

**Again if you've seen them on the show then I don't own them. If you have then I do :D**

When Olivia and Serena entered the squad room none of the detectives were present. As they approached the Captain's office they noticed that Casey and Alex were inside talking with Cragen. Olivia knocked on the door frame before entering.

"Hey what's going on?" Olivia asked.

"Did the girl give you anything?"Cragen inquired.

"Her name is Meghan." Serena responded sounding a little offended. Cragen just continued to look at Olivia expectantly as Casey put an arm around her lover.

"Yes she gave a partial statement. I'll go back in a few hours. But Captain this girl has been through hell and I don't want to push her too hard and lose her completely. She did say that her case worker knew about the abuse."

"Unbelievable" Casey responded to Olivia last statement.

"How long will she be in the hospital?" Cragen asked.

"Not more than a few days. So I'm working on a placement now. Meghan doesn't need to be going into a group home after what she has been through." Serena responded.

"Olivia we really can't do anything without her statement or a confession." Alex told her.

"Munch and Finn tried to get a confession with no luck." Casey said.

"Let me give him a round in the box captain." Olivia demanded more then she suggested.

"Okay but Casey will go in with you." As he said this Casey's eye brows rose.

Olivia left to get the perp when Serena's phone rang. "This is Serena." She answered pausing to listen to who was calling. "Great. I'm on my way now." She hung up the phone. "They may have found a placement for Meghan. I'm going to go check it out." She told Casey as she kissed the love of her life good bye.

"No woman has the right to touch me like that" The perp said as Olivia forced him down into a chair in the interrogation room.

"And you never had a right to touch Meghan in any of the ways you did." Olivia rebutted.

"Do you want a lawyer?" Casey asked the man.

"Yes as a matter of fact he does." Lionel Granger said as he walked into the room. "All questions stop now."

Olivia and Casey exited the room to find out how Granger came to be at the one-six. "What the hell, Captain" Olivia said as she entered the observation room.

"I don't know. He hasn't had a phone call. Hell we didn't even know his name until sleaze ball showed up here." He responded.

Alex was so turned on by Olivia passion that it took everything in her to keep from ripping Olivia's clothes off and having her way with her right in front of everyone. Granger interrupted Alex's grown up thoughts when he stuck his head out. "I think we'll be going now" He said as he allowed his client to pass through the door.

"No you don't he is still under arrest." Casey said as she blocked the door preventing the two men to leave.

"Very well, Jeremy do you have anything you would like to tell the detective or district attorneys?" Granger asked his client.

"No I do not." Jeremy responded coldly.

"That's fine Meghan has told us all we need to know." Olivia said as she began to cuff Jeremy to take him down to processing.

"No she didn't Meghan loves me she would never say a word against me." He protested as he was lead from the room.

"See you at arraignment, Alex" Granger said following Olivia out of the room.

"Ok we need Meghan to talk now." Casey said turning to Alex and Cragen.

"Go back to the hospital with Liv see if you can get her to say more." Alex responded. "I'll get ready for arraignment." She finished as she left the room. Casey followed quickly behind her. As they were leaving they ran into M.E. Warner.

"Melinda?" Casey said a bit shocked to see her in the squad room. They knew that the fluid would match Jeremy's so why did she feel the need to come all the way down here.

"Hi Casey. Cragen." She said nodding. "Alex I need to speak with you alone."

"Why?" Alex responded shocked.

"Captain, can we use your office?" Melinda asked Don. Cragen nodded and showed them an inviting arm. Alex followed Warner into the office racking her brain trying to figure out what was so important that Melinda needed to get her alone.

"Where's Alex" Olivia inquired after coming back from downstairs.

"Warner needed to talk to her. You two head to the hospital since Jeremy won't talk we really need Meghan to tell us what happen." Cragen ordered. Olivia grabbed her jacket and followed Casey down to the car trying desperately to think of a reason that Warner would need to talk to Alex alone. She failed to come up with anything.

**Ok Thanks so much for all the support and encouragement. It is why after a day of babysitting from 7a.m to 10p.m I still decided to write today. I know another cliffy can you believe it. But at least I'll leave you wanting more I hope. Please read and review.**


	5. Her Tale is Told

**So I changed the order of what was going to happen. As always If you seen them on T.V. they aren't mine.**

When Olivia and Casey walked in to room 419 at Mercy General, Meghan had the television on and was laughing hysterically at some grown up cartoon show. Meghan had a beautiful smile and for some reason she reminded Olivia of an Alex with dirty blonde hair.

"Meghan" Olivia said as she walked so that she was blocking Meghan view. "I need you to tell me about last night. I need to know everything, even the stuff you find embarrassing. If you can tell me everything, I promise he'll go to jail."

Meghan looked out the window as she contemplated what she should do. Casey approached her bedside, "Meghan, I'm not saying this won't be hard, but if you can tell us what happened he won't ever be able to hurt you or anyone else ever again." Meghan nodded and Olivia turned on the tape recorder. Before she started to speak Meghan swallow hard.

"After her threw me on the bed he put," She closed her eyes willing the tears to go away. "He put himself inside me and it hurt. A lot. Everytime I begged him to stop he'd hit me. When I cried," her voice was beginning to shake, "he'd push in me harder and hit me more. He took my bra off and was squeezing my," she swallowed hard and now the tears were flowing freely.

"Meghan you're doing great." Casey said encouragingly as she handed her a tissue.

"We can take a quick break." Olivia said as she turned the recorder off. Meghan's body started to shake from the sobs. No matter how hard she tried Meghan couldn't get the tears to stop flowing. She wanted to be strong but she just couldn't stop crying.

Serena walked into the room to find that Casey and Olivia were staring at Meghan as she cried on the bed. Olivia was holding her hand and Casey was running her fingers through her hair. Serena noticed that Casey was letting the tears run down her cheeks. She walked over and began to rub her girlfriends back. Casey leaned back resting her head on her love's shoulder. They all just stood there in silence trying to give Meghan the space and time she needed to collect herself.

"Ok," Meghan said in between hiccups, "I'm ready to finish." Olivia nodded at her statement turning on the tape recorder.

"Then what happen, Meghan?" Olivia asked.

"He was touching me all over and his hands were rough and they hurt." She closed her eyes and swallowed resisting the tears. "When he got to my breast he started caressing them and then squeezed them hard." Tears started to fall again but not from Meghan's eyes these are from Serena's. She had never heard such a horror filled tale.

"It just hurt so much." Meghan continued. "Then I felt him go off, you know inside me. I remember that he groaned and slowly pulled out of me." She paused.

"Take your time, what happened next?" Olivia said.

"He left" Meghan said as once again she began to sob. Olivia turned off the tape recorder.

"Meghan you did great" Olivia said squeezing her hand for reassurance and handing her another tissue. Meghan looked over at Casey who was consoling Serena as she lead her out of the room. Serena had lost all composure after hearing about what happened to Meghan.

Meghan watched Serena as guilt engulf her. "I'm sorry," She said, "I didn't mean to upset her." As she said this her pain filled eyes started to fill with pools of tears and in a matter of seconds she was crying again

"Meghan listen to me," Olivia began, "you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, you did nothing wrong." She continued, handing the entire box of Kleenex to Meghan. "You did everything you were supposed to. You were very brave by telling me what happened. Now you can start healing." Olivia gave Meghan a hug to hide the tears that had started to form in her own eyes.

After a few minutes of Olivia consoling her Meghan had calm down enough to ask about what was going to happen to her. "Olivia," Olivia pulled away from her, "what is going to happen to me now. I really don't want to go back to Susan."

"No one has told you" Olivia asked shocked that Meghan didn't know.

"Told me what"

"He killed her last night"

Meghan was shocked and didn't know what to say. She had no idea that the man she had been living with was capable of killing someone. She suddenly realized how lucky she was, he could have easily killed her if he wanted to. "So where am I going to go"

"That's what I'm here for." Serena said as she entered the room her eyes were red a swollen. "I'm think I have found you a family to stay with where you won't have to worry about this happening. They will be coming by in a few days to meet you. If that's ok with you."

Meghan didn't really know how to feel about this piece of information. She really didn't want anyone to see her like this but she didn't really think she'd have a choice. She would much prefer to just stay in the hospital forever. Meghan could tell how much these women cared about her and they didn't even know her. She really did trust them to protect her, so she nodded and they all gave her reassuring smiles. "I'm really tired." Meghan said.

"Ok you get some rest and if you need anything you can call me" Olivia said as she handed Meghan her card. Then the three women left Meghan alone, who was asleep in a matter of seconds.

**Please review! Stay tune later today you'll know what Melinda had to tell Alex.**


	6. Meghan is

**The moment you've all been waiting for. How does Alex relate to Meghan... And as you know if you've seen them on the show i don't own them. If not then they came from my mind alone.**

**Oh and cabotfet-ish-70 this is most defiantly for you. You changed the story-line but I love this one much more than my old one.**

After Alex entered the room Melinda closed the door and handed Alex the file she was holding. Alex was familiar enough with medical reports to notice that it was DNA results that she was looking at. She also notice that the match wasn't identical but that it was defiantly a relative.

"What the hell am I looking at Melinda?"

"These are DNA results for the girl. Because the DNA that I tested was retrieve from inside of her, her DNA goes through the system too. She was a match to…" Melinda reached and turned the page to reveal who her relative was.

"Me" Alex stood there shocked to see her photo on the next page. "Oh my god, Meghan." Her eyes started to fill with tears, as she look at Melinda who was just staring back at her.

"Who is she Alex"

"She's my niece." Her tears began to spill over. "I had a sister who was six years older than me. When I was in law school she and her husband got pregnant. I was so excited for her." Alex paused as she remembered what had happened. "One night they were returning from a trip to the grocery store when she was eight and a half months pregnant. The road was wet and they slide into a lamp post. Michael, my brother-in-law," she was choking back the sobs now, "was killed on impact. My sister was rushed to the hospital. The last thing she said was to save her baby." Alex was letting the tears flow freely she had thought about her sister and her niece over the years but not as much as she should have. Now she has to live with the fact that someone hurt her sister's daughter and she could have stopped it from happening.

Melinda put a reassuring hand on Alex's shoulder. "Meghan was born with two broken ribs and a broken arm," Alex continued, "but, she was a fighter and she lived. I was still in law school so my mom and I tag teamed it with her until she was three months old." Alex was still trying to stop the tears but they kept coming, however her voice was beginning to steady. "My mom had a heart attack and she wasn't able to help with Meghan anymore." Alex stopped to dap her eyes with a tissue that Melinda had handed her.

"I met this couple while I was at the hospital and they really wanted a baby. I knew that my only option to keep Meghan was to drop out of law school and I just couldn't do it. At first it was an open adoption but when I finished law school it was too hard to see Meghan and not be able to take her home with me." Alex began to wipe her eyes even though the tears were still coming. Melinda handed her a box of tissues and Alex blew her nose.

Elliot, Fin, Munch were returning from the crime scene and brought two boxes with them. "You aren't going to believe what we've found" Elliot says as he begins to empty the contents of the box on his desk. Cragen approached the desk as Elliot put on some gloves and opened one of the evidence baggies, and pulled out what appeared to be a scrap book. They opened it to the first page where there was a picture of an older woman with blue eyes and blonde hair. Around the picture there were little stickers of old ladies. The caption read '_To my dearest Meghan Anne, Love your Gigi' _

When they turned the page there was a recipe for '_Family Cheesecake' _this page was also decorated with various stickers having to do with some type of desserts this caption read, '_I wish I could teach you myself how to make this but I know since you've got Cabot blood in you that you'll figure it out when you're old enough'_

"Cabot?" Cragen looked at Elliot questioningly.

"Yeah and look at this." Elliot said as he turned to one of the pages further back. This page was covered with pictures of Alex. The one picture in the middle was bigger and was acting as an envelope holding a folded up letter in it. There was a caption in handwriting that the men recognized. '_I'll love you to the end of all days, Meghan! May all your days be filled with happiness' –Auntie Lexie_

Cragen and Elliot stared at each other having no idea how to react to this new piece of information. Not that this piece of information was really relevant to the case.

Just then Warner walked out of the Captain's office alone and, without saying a word to the detectives, left the squad room. Cragen went to knock on the door. Alex opened it, she was still crying and Cragen not knowing what else to do just gave her a hug.

**Please review. I hope to update one more time today. If you guys give me a reason to that is.**


	7. Alex Explains

**Once again if you've seen the on the show I don't own them, otherwise I created them.**

Olivia, Serena and Casey walked into the squad room to see a hysterical Alex in Cragen arms. Olivia immediately went to try and console Alex, as Elliot passed the scrapbook off to Serena and Casey. Serena gasped when she saw the page it was open to. She and Alex had gone to college together and then to law school. As soon as she saw this page she knew exactly who Meghan was, and now she too was crying. Casey in a desperate attempt to understand what was going on, pulled Serena close and asked "What is this baby?" Serena couldn't answer even though she tried through the sobs. "Shhhhh its okay baby, I'm here." Casey said as she, took the book handed it to Elliot, and pulled Serena closer.

"Alex sweetie what's wrong?" Olivia asked as Alex allowed her sobs to die down.

"It's Meghan…"Alex said and was once again enveloped in whimpers.

"What about Meghan? She's going to be ok. I was just with her. She told us everything and now we"

"No! Liv! She's my niece." Alex yelled at her before she began to wail again.

Olivia was really confused. As far as she knew Alex only had one sister who died 14 years ago in a car. Alex talked about her and her husband but she never mentioned a child.

"Alex, Baby what are you talking about" Olivia asked in desperation. Alex can't answer right now. Olivia deserves an explanation but she is too broken up to try and give her one.

"Liv… can we… go… home?" Alex ask in between hiccups.

"Sure baby." Olivia says as she grabs her jacket and the two walk out of the one-six.

Serena has stopped crying and she starts to explain the situation to the rest of the gang as Alex and Olivia head home.

When they get home Olivia guides Alex over to the couch. On the way home Alex managed to cry herself out so now maybe she could explain what was happening to Olivia. Olivia sits down next to Alex who then cuddles into her. Olivia starts to run her fingers through her lovers hair and kisses her softly on the temple.

"Olivia can we talk" Alex asked in a little more than a whisper.

"I was hoping that we would" Olivia responds. Alex looked up into those dark chocolate orbs and suddenly feels as if she doesn't have to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders alone.

"Meghan is my niece," Alex began. "My sister, Christana, gave birth to her only moments before she died." Now the tears were starting to fill her eyes again. "When my mom had her first heart attack we had to put her up for adoption." Alex was starting to cry again and she was trying to keep her voice steady. "We just wanted her to be happy and have a normal family and grow-up without having to worry about anything." Olivia was now crying too and she pulled Alex so closed to her that Alex almost couldn't breathe yet, she didn't want Olivia to loosen her grip. "If we had kept her I would of resented it because I would have had to drop out of law school. The people we gave her to were really nice people and very successful and loving." Alex couldn't say anymore.

"Sometimes baby, it's the successful ones that turn out to be the biggest monsters." Olivia said as she tried to keep her voice from shaking.

"Liv," Alex said as something dawn on her. She had been so upset about Meghan being hurt that she hadn't even realized, "Jeremy isn't the man that adopted her." Alex sat up as she made this realization.

"Then what happen to them" Olivia asked very concerned

"I don't know" Alex said as fear flashed into her eyes. She got up and walked to her computer. She figured that maybe she could find something on Google. Olivia followed her and sat down before her so that Alex could sit on her lap. As Alex typed in their names what they found brought the tears back to their eyes. She began to read out loud, "The Chrestler's vehicle was hit by a drunk driver on Monday evening. Richard and Marianne were killed by the impact and their 8-year-old daughter Meghan is in critical condition. The driver was placed under arrest and police have not reveal any more details."

"Oh my god!" Olivia said when Alex had finished reading.

"I tried to prevent her from having to go through this pain and look what happened." Alex said as once again she began to cry uncontrollably. Olivia helped her up and lead to their bedroom. Alex just let Olivia steer her where ever she want to.

They got in the shower and cried until they felt they were all cried out. Then they got in bed and held each other close. They both knew what they had to do to try and remedy some of the misfortunes that Meghan had encountered. But for right now they were exhausted and thus fell asleep within minutes of their heads hitting the pillow.

**Not the best chapter but please review. With tomorrow being father's day I'm not sure if i will be able to update but don't worry I'll be back on Monday for sure.**


	8. Meghan is Discharged

**You know who I don't own and who I created by now. Happy Reading!**

Casey and Serena are sitting in Serena's office. They are both waiting for Serena to pick up the phone again. She had tried to call Alex at least ten times that morning without an answer. Serena knew that Alex would want to help her niece but she needed to hear it from her before she called the foster parent's she had lined up to take Meghan when she was released the hospital. The phone rang and Serena answered, "Serena Southerlyn."

Casey love the way that her girlfriend could demand such respect by just stating her name on the telephone.

"Already, what time?" Casey was now looking at her with interest as she only heard one half of the conversation.

"Great I'll be there as soon as I can." She said as she hung up the phone.

"We got to go, Meghan is being released from the hospital now." Casey looked down at her watch as Serena informed her of the change in plans.

"Shit. I got to go. I have a meeting with the scum bag and his lawyer to discuss the plea agreement."

"So Meghan won't have to testify at trial."

"No Granger already told me that he intends to plead guilty after the amount of evidence we have against him."

"Great the sooner Meghan can move on from this nightmare the better."

As they exited the building Casey pulled Serena close and kissed her passionately, not caring about who might be watching. As their lips parted Casey whispered, "I love you Rena."

"I love you too." Serena said as she hailed a cab.

On the way to the hospital she tried once again to call Alex.

Olivia began to stir when she heard the ringing of the phone. When she realized it was Alex's phone she tried to gently wake the sleep blonde next to her.

"What time is it?" Alex asked as she tried to stretch the sleep away.

"Ten."

"Crap!" She said as she tried to get to her phone before it stopped ringing. By the time she got her phone it was just displaying the missed call screen. When she hit view she counted 13 missed calls from Serena. She hit redial and prayed Serena would answer.

"Geez Alex it's about time I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning." Serena answered.

"Sorry we slept through the alarm I guess."

"You guess?" Olivia yelled at her from the bathroom.

"Meghan is being released from the hospital right now." Serena informed her.

"I thought she was going to be there a few more days" Alex responded.

"What's going on?" Olivia said as she exited the bathroom trying to pull her hair out of her face.

Alex moved the mouth piece away from her face to answer Olivia. "Meghan is being released, right now." She said in a voice slightly louder than a whisper.

"What?" Olivia replied shocked she thought the girl would be there a little longer than just 24 hours.

"Alex, are you going to take her?" Serena asked.

"You bet your ass I'm going to take her." Alex replied as she got out of bed and began to gather some clothes together.

"Can you meet me here?" Serena asked.

"You're already there. No we'll just meet you at the one-six."

"Okay Alex take care, see you soon." Serena said hanging up the phone.

Serena decided to walk up the stairs not really knowing what she should tell Meghan. She knew Meghan would have questions but she also knew that Alex had to be the one to answer them. She was so torn between her heart and her head. Her heart wanted to tell Meghan everything. But her head told her that Alex needed to be the one to explain it all.

Serena took a deep breath as she entered Meghan's room. "Hey Meghan."

"Hey Serena are you taking me to my new foster home." Meghan asked as the nurse handed Serena the paperwork to sign so that Meghan could be officially discharged.

"No exactly, we are going to the police station, so that we can get something taken care of. But you will be in a safe place tonight." I promise.

Meghan nodded as she got up. What did she need to go to the police station for? She had already told them what happened so why did she need to go down to the police station. She like Olivia she had seem really nice but if she never saw her again she would be perfectly happy. Really she just wanted to try to get her life back together. She wanted to get moved in with this new family and get back to school and all that jazz. She wanted to move on and forget what had happen. But she had to go to the police station and continue to relive the horror.

**Please review. If you guys are losing interest I don't know that I'll keep writing. Thanks so much!**


	9. They Meet

**Sorry I didnt update yesterday, was with best sister and cousin ever! You know who I own and who I don't. Happy reading. **

Alex and Olivia walk into the squad room holding hands, and Alex has a million things swimming through her head. She hadn't seen Meghan in at least ten years. How would Meghan ever forgive her? She wanted nothing more than to make it up to her niece, but she didn't think she'd be able to. Yeah she could give her a place to sleep, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a school to go to, but could she ever give Meghan back her piece of mind. Meghan had been through so much in fourteen years. She had lost her parents twice and now she had been abused for six years. All Alex wanted was to give Meghan a childhood before it was too late. In the back of her mind she thought it was already too late.

Olivia led Alex to her desk and sat her down in the chair. As Alex looked around trying to clear her head she saw it. She saw the scrapbook her mom had made Meghan after they all agree to close the adoption. Her mom wanted to give it to Meghan so that she would know she was loved and that all they wanted to do was give her the best life she could possibly have.

Alex reached across Olivia's desk and picked up the book. She opened it a thumbed through it stopping when she came to the page she had created. It was cover in pictures of Alex, and her sister and Meghan. She rubbed her fingers over the caption and whispered to herself "I'll love you to the end of all days, Meghan! May all your days be filled with happiness."

As Olivia realized what Alex was looking at, she sat down on her own desk. Placing a hand under her lover's chin she forced Alex to look at her. It was then that she noticed the tears that were in her girlfriend's beautiful crystal blue eyes. "Alex, you did the right thing Meghan was loved and happy. You couldn't have known what was going to happen when she was eight."

Alex now let the tears roll down her cheeks. She knew logically Olivia was right but her heart was telling her a different story. Her heart was telling her that she ought to feel guilty that it was all her fault. She couldn't take the waiting anymore so she left not knowing where she was going.

"Alex" Olivia cried after her. Alex kept walking she would be back but, until Meghan was here, she needed to be alone.

* * * * * * * * At the Hospital * * * * * * * *

After Serena had helped Meghan into the cab, she stood outside, "I need to make a quick phone call," explaining to both Meghan and the cab driver. "Just one second." She said as she closed the door.

The phone rang three times before a woman answered, "Hello Ms. Southerlyn is Meghan ready for us to come meet her?"

"No not exactly, Mrs. Garder, we found somebody else." Serena explained

"I see," Serena could hear the disappointment in the woman voice. She felt terrible. She knew that the couple wanted a child desperately. They would be excellent parents. But Serena also knew that Meghan needed to be with Alex. Serena had tuned out the rest of what Mrs. Garder had to say. She was only brought out of her own head when she heard the line go dead.

"Alright," Serena said as she finally got into the cab, "Let's go."

Meghan rolled her eyes as she looked out the window to watch the city go by. She just wanted to die. She was tired and in pain. She had lost everything before the age of fifteen. 'Why does God hate me so much' she thought just as the cab pulled in front of the one-six.

Alex was walking out of the coffee shop adjacent to the precinct when she saw Serena getting out of the cab. She began to panic and nearly dropped the coffees she was carrying. And in a split second she decided that she would go in through the back. She wasn't ready to run into Meghan, not yet.

Meghan walked into the squad room and immediately saw Olivia and marched straight at her. "What else do you want from me?" She yelled at her, "I already told you everything I just want to go home. Where ever the hell that is now."

"Meghan, why don't you take a seat for just a second please?" Olivia begged as she reached for her cell phone to text Alex.

Meghan was too tired to continue to argue so she did as she was told. She studied the photos on Olivia's desk. There was one of Olivia and a blonde woman that Meghan recognized but couldn't place. Just then she heard someone walking into the room. As she looked up she saw Olivia taking the coffees from the same blonde that was in the picture.

"Alexandra?" Meghan knew who the blonde was. It was her aunt.

**Please, please review. I really want to hear what you have to say people. Thanks for reading. And I promise the next chapter will contain a conversation between Alex and Meghan!**


	10. They Finally Talk

**Ok so I rewrote this chapter hoping to get a little more of Alex's POV. Please review and let me know what you think now. As you know I do not own anyone you've seen on the show. If you haven't though they are mine. Happy Reading!**

Alex just stared the clone of her sister. She had the same blue eyes the same nose only hers had not been broken. She had the exact same hair color that fell below her shoulder in perfect waves. Alex was stunned into silence when she started to notice the injuries. She had a cast on her arm, and the bruises. She had so many bruises and Alex wanted to cry but she knew if she did that would probably piss Meghan off. After all she was her sister's daughter. Her sister never allowed anyone to feel sorry for her and when they did, they'd better duck and cover cause she'd give them a piece of her mind sometimes more.

Olivia stared at Alex waiting for some emotion to flood her beautiful face, but so far she seemed to be gone, off in her own little world. "Alex?" Olivia asked as she touch her lover's arm lightly.

Alex suddenly broke her gaze with Meghan and looked at Olivia.

"Are you ok Alex?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Alex then walked with her head held high, the same way she walked into the court room, toward her niece "Meghan, can we talk?" she asked.

"No! We can't talk. You are supposed to be dead. Gigi told me you were dead. I saw it in the papers. I've been to your gravesite. You are dead." Meghan yelled. She didn't know what do to. She was confused and angry. She turned to Serena who was crying now. "Is this some kind of trick. You found some chick that looked like my aunt. What are you trying to pull?" Meghan's eyes then flooded with tears she could feel the dozens of eyes watching her.

"Meghan I can explain everything" Alex said as her body shook with sobs. "Please let's just talk."

Meghan stared at her trying to comprehend what was happening. The woman in front of her was unmistakably her aunt. 'But how is that possible' Meghan thought to herself. "Ok," Meghan responded, deciding that she was too tired to run otherwise she would have run out the door in an attempt to escape forever. "Can we talk alone?" She said with begging eyes.

"Yes, of course, we'll go upstairs." Alex said as Serena helped Meghan up. Meghan grabbed her scrapbook as she followed Alex up to the crib.

As Alex walked upstairs she finally started to cry. Meghan maybe didn't hate her, or if she did she was at least giving Alex the time of day to explain herself. Meghan walked into the crib and took a seat on one on the bottom cots in the middle of the room. Alex then sat on the cot adjacent to hers. Meghan saw the tears dripping from Alex's cheeks but didn't know how to react to this.

"Aunt Lexie?" Meghan asked. She didn't know what she was going to say but she figured she had to start somewhere.

"Yeah?" Alex responded ask her tears subsided. Meghan had called her 'Aunt Lexie' she hadn't been called that in nearly 11 years.

Meghan just shook her head as she allowed her own tears to fall, it was then that she let out six years worth of anger and frustration. "When my parents died I told them to find you and Gigi. They found Gigi but she was still too sick to take care of me. She said that you couldn't take care of me either that you were too busy. Why didn't you want me? Why didn't you want to take care of me?" Meghan was screaming and crying. Alex was stunned she didn't know what to do. "Then I saw in the papers that you died. I went to your funeral. You were gone and I had accepted that I was never going to get to see you again. I had finally accepted that I had no family left. Then Gigi started contacting me. I could never tell her what was happening I couldn't stand the thought of her hating herself. Of her blaming herself for what was happening." Meghan stopped a minute to catch her breath. "Then she died and I was all alone. I was finally starting to accept that. Now your back and I'm sure in no time you will be gone again."

Alex just continued to stare at Meghan not really what to say. She got up and sat on the same cot Meghan was sitting on she didn't know what to do but she felt as if she could hug Meghan maybe things could get better. "Meghan," She started, "When did your parents die?"

Meghan stared at Alex. "What difference does it make?" Meghan asked a little bit perturbed.

Alex just looked at her begging her to answer, "Please…"

"Six years ago. When I was eight, they died in a car wreck."

Alex closed her eyes, trying to choke back the tears. 'No wonder mom didn't tell me,' She thought to herself.

"Six years ago, I had a case. The people I was prosecuting had a lot of power and they wanted me dead." Alex looked at Meghan whose expression was one of fear and shock. "They wanted me dead so bad that they shot me." Alex paused to stop her own tears. "The FBI decided the best way to protect me was to keep me dead and move me away."

As Alex finished what she was saying Meghan wrapped her arms around her. Alex then lost it she pulled Meghan close and never wanted to let go. "I'm sorry Meghan, I'm so sorry…"

**Please review. I have already written the next chapter and when I have some reviews I will post it. Thanks!**


	11. Walls Come Down

**Ok so if you haven't reread chapter ten you should do that before continuing to read this chapter. I have changed it and I think it works alot better now. You guys know who I own and who I don't by now. Happy Reading!**

After Alex and Meghan had gone upstairs, everyone else finally went their separate ways after about ten minutes of staring at each other, silently debating what they should do. Serena and Casey left going back to Casey's office; she had some paperwork to do. Munch and Fin went out to check a tip that had come in on another case. Cragen went to his office and Elliot and Olivia sat at their desk absorb in paperwork.

Olivia looked up at her clock and realized that it was nearly 3:30. Alex and Meghan had been up there for almost four hours. Olivia had finished about three quaters of the paper work she had let her desk collect and decided that was enough. She got up, "Hey I'm going to go get some food from across the street."

"Grab me a decent coffee, would you?" He instructed Olivia.

"Sure…" She said. Sometimes he could treat her like a child and it annoyed her but, she wouldn't trade partner for the world. He was the one man that she could trust with her life. No matter what, he would be there to save her. And in their line of work she needed that trust.

When she walked into the dinner across the street, the waitress at the bar immediately spoke to her. "Hey Olivia, what can I get you today. Are you her alone or are you on food duty?"

"I'm kind of on food duty. Let's see… Can I get some pancake…"

"How many?"

"Let's do 8. And 3 burgers plain with everything on the side."

"Any drinks?"

"Just a coffee, for Elliot." Olivia said as she whipped out a credit card.

"That will be $23.27." The waitress said smiling at her. "Give me just a sec and I'll have it out for you."

"No hurry" Olivia said back taking a seat at the bar. God she hoped that Alex was making some progress. She didn't want to see her girlfriend or Meghan go through any more pain. She also hoped Meghan like either pancakes or burgers. She knew that Alex was starving and she didn't know the Meghan had a real food. The waitress brought the food out in bags and Elliot's coffee in a to-go cup.

"See you next time Olivia." The waitress said as Olivia left the diner nodding in her direction.

Olivia walked up to the squad room and left Elliot's coffee on his desk. Elliot was nowhere in sight. She then went up to the crib hoping to enjoy a meal with Alex and Meghan.

* * * * * * * * * In the Crib * * * * * * * * *

Meghan finally pulled away from Alex after she had cried out 14 years of sadness and anger then opened her scrapbook and pulled out the letter that was tucked behind Alex's big picture. She pulled it out and held it in her hands.

"I've read this so many times trying to hear your voice. It would comfort me on long nights when he had been in my room." Meghan was forgiving Alex. It really wasn't her aunt's fault and she never blamed her. Alex reached and took the letter, glancing at Meghan, before she opened it to read it.

'_Meghan,_

_I hope one day that you will be able to understand the reasons we made this choice. I loved you the moment I saw you in that bed in the NICU. You looked just like my sister, your mother. I wanted to keep you with me at first until I realized that in order to provide for you I needed to get through college, through Law school. This is what is best for you. I know in my heart that your parents will love you every day. I know that you will be happy. I know you'll have everything that you could ever need or want. That is what you deserve Meghan. __I will miss you so much that I can't even write it in words. But Meghan, I'm not ready to raise a child. I know I'd find some way to screw it up. Especially if you are anything like you mother. I know you will be. Even now at 18 months old you remind me of her with everything you do. __I hope that this book will show you where you came from and even though your last name will be Chrestler the blood that runs through your veins is Cabot blood. You can do anything you wish in this world. Just like the rest of us. Be sure to stay true to yourself and you'll always know what to do. __Meghan I love you so much and I will love you to the end of all days! I will think you daily, miss you hourly, and love you more with each passing second. Good Luck Meghan! (not that you'll need it)_

_Love,_

_Auntie Lexie_

When Alex finished reading the letter to herself, she looked at Meghan who again had tears in her eyes, "Meghan, I meant what I wrote in that letter." she said as she handed the letter back to Meghan. "I've thought about you every day, and if I had known what was happening I would have dropped everything to come and save you."

Just then Olivia walked in carrying what appeared to be food.

**Please please please review. Thanks so much for the reviews of chapter ten (pre-changes) it really helped me alot.**


	12. They Go Home

**As you know I don't own who Mr. Wolf created. But I do own who hasn't been on the show. Happy Reading!**

"Hey, I brought some food. Thought you might be hungry." Olivia said as both of the blue eyed women looked at her.

"Well" Alex said as she look at Meghan for approval.

"I'm not really too hungry"

"Meghan when was the last time you ate?" Olivia asked as she began to empty the contents of the bags on to the table.

"I don't know I guess I had some oatmeal at the hospital this morning." She responded not moving from the cot. Alex on the other hand got up to help Olivia with the food.

"Meghan I really think it would be better if you ate something." Olivia said as she opened up the pancakes she had gotten.

"Pancakes?" Meghan asked skeptically.

"Yeah, I know Alex likes them and I thought maybe," She was interrupted by Meghan as a smile appeared from ear to ear.

"I love pancakes!" She was so excited, "My mom used to make them for me every Saturday morning." She left the cot join Olivia and Alex at the table. She finally realized that maybe she was a little hungry.

Olivia handed Meghan all eight pancakes deciding that Alex would live and that Meghan might not if she didn't get some food in her system. Alex frowned at her lover as she realized that she would not be allowed to enjoy any of the pancakes that she had brought. So she opened up one of the hamburgers, "Plain and dry?"

"No, here is everything you could want." Olivia said handing her the bag full of stuffing for hamburgers.

Meghan watched how the two women interacted. She thought from the second that she saw Olivia touch Alex's arm when they came down stairs that they just might be more than friends. Her Gigi had told her that she thought her 'Alexandra might like women' to quote her exactly. The two women in front of her would exchange glances every once in a while that appeared to say more than word ever could. 'Yes' Meghan thought, 'these two are so much more than friends'

"So what's going to happen to me now?" Meghan asked as she finished up seven of the pancakes leaving one untouched.

This didn't go unnoticed by Alex who quickly reached out to grab it.

Olivia glared at her in a way as to say 'really'. Alex just glared back before answering Meghan's question.

"Well, I was hoping that you may want to come home with me…" Alex said very nervously.

"You mean I can. I thought there might be some conflict of interest or something" Meghan responded excitedly as she pointed to Olivia.

Olivia and Alex looked at each other then back a Meghan.

"I'm not stupid you to have the same chemistry that my parents had. It's how I knew that they really loved each other. So I know you two are together in a relationship."

"I see." Olivia said still shocked that Meghan knew. Nobody else at work had been told other than Casey and Serena. 'Who else has figured it out?' Olivia thought to herself.

"He has already been convicted so Olivia's job is over and the conflict of interest gone." Alex told Meghan, "So what do you think, do you want to stay with us?" She asked as she put an arm around Olivia.

"I'd love to stay with you." She said as she threw her arms around both women.

"Ok then what do you two say we get out of here and get home?" Olivia asked as she gathered up the trash.

"Really? We can go right now there is no paperwork?" Meghan questioned Olivia.

"No, not for tonight, I'll call Serena in the morning and we can take care of it then." Olivia replied.

Meghan got up and walked over to the door as she turned the knob she looked back at Alex and Olivia, "Well are you guys coming or what?"

Alex laughed as she gathered up as much trash as she could. Olivia grabbed the rest and they followed Meghan out of the crib. Meghan looked over the banister at the crowded room below. Everyone was doing their own thing not paying any attention to her. She suddenly felt safe. No one could hurt her any more or ever again.

Alex came up behind Meghan and put a hand on her shoulder. Meghan who had been lost in her thought was startled. "Sorry" Alex apologized.

"It's ok, I'm just a little jumpy" Meghan responded.

"Come on let's go home." Olivia said as she walked by the two women. They turned and followed her and the three women were silent until they got down to the street.

"Can we walk, I haven't seen the city since my parents died." Meghan had stuck out her lip hoping that her puppy dog face would help her get her way.

Olivia looked at Alex, who could make the same face, and noticed that she had a few tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, lets walk it's good exercise" Alex responded.

The three walked in silence each taking in the city around them in their own way. Even though there were people everywhere and the sidewalks were as busy as ever, the three were in a world all their own. Each just happy to be together.

**Ok not the best ending but, don't worry I'll be updating again tonight as long as I get 3 reviews. Please review!**


	13. A Movie and a Dream

**You know th drill by now. Happy Reading!**

Meghan's mouth dropped when they arrived at the apartment building. 'I don't know what I was expecting' She thought to herself. 'Maybe I just thought because Gigi was so rich that naturally Alex would be too.' Meghan was in awe. The apartment was small with a living room and just one bedroom off of it. There was a small kitchen but from the looks of it they didn't cook much. In fact the trash was overfilled with takeout containers.

"It isn't much but since it's only the two of us we don't need that much space." Alex said when she noticed Meghan's reaction.

"Tomorrow before I go to work I'll go and request for a two bedroom apartment" Olivia said more to herself than anyone else. "Ok so Meghan what do you want to do? It's only seven o'clock but if you are ready for bed we can make up the couch, or we can watch television."

Meghan looked at Alex and then at Olivia. Then she scanned the room spotting their DVD collection, "Could we watch a movie?" She asked timidly

"Sure!" Alex said enthusiastically. "Come on over and pick one out she said as she lead Meghan to the shelves that held them.

Meghan looked at the tens of movies that were in front of her. She scanned each title closely noting that they were not in alphabetical order. Alex and Olivia kept glancing at her and then at each other. Each contemplating what Meghan might be thinking. Finally after a good ten minutes Meghan pulled a movie off of the shelf, carefully as to not disturb the other movies. She handed it to Olivia who laughed when she saw what Meghan had chosen. She was most definitely a Cabot. Meghan had chosen a chick flick that Alex and her Mother had loved, Steel Magnolias.

"Gigi always wanted me to watch this with her," Meghan told Olivia, "But we could only ever get as far as the part where Shelby is telling M'Lynn that she is pregnant. Then I'd have to leave and go back to well you know"

"My mom loved this movie" Alex said as Olivia popped it in to the DVD player. The three women sat on the couch. Alex snuggled into Olivia who was propped up against one arm of the couch. Meghan lay on the opposite side of the couch and was amazed at how comfortable she felt being there. She felt welcome. She couldn't remember the last time she truly felt welcomed or wanted.

The movie ended and Alex looked over at Meghan she was sound asleep.

"I wonder how far she made it this time." Alex told Olivia as they got up from the couch. Olivia went to turn the t.v. off and Alex grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch to cover Meghan up.

Meghan looked a little uneasy as she slept and Alex prayed that she was sleeping better than appeared. Alex then followed Olivia to their room. They changed into pajamas, Olivia in her usually tank top and NYPD issued sweat pants and Ales was wearing her matching blue green and orange plaid pants with a fitted green t-shirt. They climbed into bed and Alex immediately clung to Olivia making it very hard for her to get comfortable.

"Alex, give me on second to get comfortable. Ok?"

Alex briefly let go allowing Olivia to get settled before she cuddled up to her resting her head on her girlfriend's chest. Olivia kissed her temple before she rested her own head on her lover's.

"Liv?" Alex said in her innocent sweet voice.

"Yeah sweetie?" Olivia responded

"Thank you." And with those words the two women fell asleep clinging to each other.

Olivia began to stir and noticed that her arm was asleep as she tried to free it she heard the sobbing coming from the living room.

"Alex… Alex do you hear that?" Alex woke and listened to what Olivia was referring to.

"Its Meghan" she said as she flew out of bed running to the living room. Olivia was close on her heels now worried about the teen that was sleeping on her couch.

"Meghan?" Alex said as she approached the crying girl.

Meghan looked up at Alex begging to be held. Alex sat down next her on the couch pulling her close.

"Shhhhh… It's ok Meghan you're safe here." Alex said trying to console her niece.

Olivia watch before she too sat down on Meghan other side pulling both of them close to her. Alex looked up at her begging for answers. Olivia just pulled her closer. Meghan was able to calm herself down and then her sobs gave way to hiccups. Eventually they all feel back asleep sitting on the couch. They would be sore in the morning but for now they could sleep.

**I hope you are enjoying the story and the next few chapter will be light on the drama but here soon it will pick up again. Please review with any advice!**


	14. Things Become Normal

**This is sorta a filler chapter and y'all know the drill by now. Happy Reading!**

For the next week Alex and Meghan just stayed at home getting to know each other and hanging out. Meghan was still not sleeping through the night but now she would just go get in bed with Alex and Olivia. When one of them would notice the extra body in their bed they would pull Meghan close and rub comforting circles on her back telling her that she was safe until she fell asleep. Olivia had put in for a two bedroom apartment and they had been approved and now just had to wait for one to become available. Jeremy had formally pleaded guilty and Casey had asked Meghan if she wanted to speak at his sentencing hearing. She wasn't sure she really wanted to do that, she never wanted to see him again and going to the sentencing hearing would mean that she would have to see him again.

It was not 6:30 and Alex was cooking dinner while Meghan mindlessly listened to the t.v. Olivia was due home any minute and they had planned to discuss what would be happening next. Serena had been able to get Alex temporary custody of Meghan without a hearing but in order to get full custody Alex, Olivia and Meghan would have to go before a judge. They also needed to discuss getting Meghan back and school and wither or not Meghan would speak at her torture's sentencing hearing.

Alex finally heard the key inserted into the lock and turned down the stove to a simmer before going to greet the beautiful woman entering the apartment. She pulled her into a passionate kiss before Olivia even had time to set down her bags.

"Well hello to you to." Olivia said as she tried to catch her breath.

"I missed you today." Alex replied as she headed back to the kitchen with Olivia following her.

"Mmmm… Smells good, what is it?" Olivia asked

"Well I attempted to make my mom's spaghetti sauce, but I'm not sure I did it right" Alex said as she looked at her lover with a look of disappointment on her face.

"Alex, if it taste even as fraction as good as it smell then it will be divine." Olivia said as she placed a kiss on her girlfriend's temple. Alex leaned into the kiss; she had really missed Olivia today. And even though she was enjoying the time with Meghan she really needed to get back to work. Being the stay at home aunt was just not her thing.

"I think it's ready if you will get Meghan I'll get the plates" Alex said with a smile and Olivia kissed her once more before going to get Meghan from the living room.

"Hey" Olivia said as she approached Meghan on the couch.

Meghan was buried deep in her own thoughts and didn't hear Olivia come in the apartment at all let alone the living room. She had jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you, but dinner is ready."

"Oh ok" Meghan said as she turned off the television and proceeded to walk into the kitchen. She sat down behind a plate that Alex had set at the table it was already full of pasta. Meghan promptly picked up her fork and dug in.

"Well?" Alex questioned.

"It's great." Meghan said with a mouth food.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief as she joined Olivia and Meghan at the table.

"Well, Meghan have you decided what you want to do?" Olivia said in between bites.

"About what?" She tried to avoid the conversation that was about to take place.

"About the hearing" Olivia decided it was best to just be patient with her, she had already been through so much.

Meghan put down her fork she knew she had to make a decision she just didn't know what the right one was. She had grown up with very few areas of grey until she left her foster home now the whole world seemed to be grey with no a spot of just black or white.

"I don't know, I really want the judge to decide that he should go away for life but the deal has already been made so I really don't think it will be worth it." Meghan said as she started to cry.

"Ok then we won't go. Casey will call and tell us what happens." Alex said.

"Really you mean I don't have to go or say anything?"

"Not unless you want to, Meghan." Alex smiled as her niece's facial expression went from fear and sadness to one of hope and happiness.

"Ok I'll call Casey after we are done here." Olivia said also smiling at Meghan. The three then finished dinner just making small talk.

"Well Meghan I only have three more days off and then I need to get back to work so I think we need to get you enrolled in school tomorrow." Alex said as she began to clean up the kitchen while Meghan washed dishes. "I've found a school that I think is acceptable and I want to take you tomorrow morning to get enrolled. Then maybe we can meet Casey and Serena for lunch and they can fill us in about the hearing."

"Yeah I guess" Meghan sounded bit disappointed but she knew that eventually she'd have to leave the apartment that had become her sanctuary she just didn't know if she was ready.

**Stay tuned chapter 15 coming momentarily. Drop some reviews in the mean time.**


	15. Talking to Ghosts

**I really hope you enjoy this chapter guys! Happy Reading!**

After Meghan and Alex had finished cleaning and Casey had been made aware of Meghan's decision the three of them sat in the living room. Alex and Olivia were snuggling on the couch and Meghan lay on the floor staring straight up at the ceiling.

"Meghan?" Alex said is her soft motherly voice.

"Yeah?" Meghan responded as she turned to look at Alex praying that the tears would stay where they were.

"Tomorrow I am going to take you to the doctor." She said a little more bluntly the she had meant to.

Meghan sat up quickly as anger flashed across her eyes, "What for?" she snapped back.

Alex swallowed as she sat up moving away from Olivia. She was opening her mouth to speak when Olivia interjected, "Meghan when someone had survived what you have been through it is important that they talk with someone who knows how to listen. It will help you I promise."

"Why didn't someone think to ask me If I want to talk about it. I'm tired of talking about it and hearing about it. I told you about and now he is going to jail. I don't need to go talk to some shrink."

"Meghan when was the last time you had a good night sleep without nightmares?" Olivia questioned her.

"Dreams are your subconscious's way of dealing with the things that are bothering you when you're awake. So obviously I'm dealing with it." Meghan was now yelling. She didn't need to keep talking about it.

"I was attacked and I thought that at first I was fine and I was handling it. Then I pulled at gun on an unarmed man." She paused trying to gage Meghan's reaction, "So then I went and talked to someone and it helped more than I could ever explain. For a while Alex couldn't touch me in any way with having a flash back. But now we can be together again. I can work again and I can sleep again."

Meghan just stared at her. She really was tired of talking about it and really didn't want to have to tell some stranger all about her life she had a hard enough time telling friends about it. How was she going to work up the nerve to tell some person who was paid to 'fix' her about all the horrors she had bared witness to. But Alex and Olivia really cared about her. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she just went once and if she really hated it then she wouldn't have to go back right?

"Ok I will go tomorrow, but if I hate it you have to promise not to make me go back."

Alex and Olivia exchanged glances before Alex nodded in acceptance of the terms.

"When is it?" Meghan asked.

"Three." Alex replied

"So I guess we still have to get signed up for school tomorrow morning." Meghan said.

"Yes, so we better get to bed, Goodnight." Olivia said as she looked at her watch seeing that it was 9:30. Her and Alex went to their room as Meghan pulled out some blankets and began to rearrange the cushions on the couch so that she could sleep. Alex came back out and watch as Meghan was searching through the boxes that contained the clothes that had been brought over from her foster parents' house.

"You know it's going to get better now." Alex said. Meghan just glanced as she continued to search for some pajamas. "Goodnight… See you in the morning." She said as she closed the door to their bedroom.

Meghan changed and lay down on the couch. She was really lonely and had no intentions of going to sleep anytime soon not that she could if she wanted to.

"Mom…" She paused. "I know that both of you are up there listening. I didn't really believe in God until, well the day I saw Alex, alive. I had given up on the possibility of ever having a family again. You know I couldn't believe that I had lost my parents twice before I was ten. It's just not fair. Why do I have to do all this stuff can't I just be a normal kid? Well I guess I was for a little while. At least when I was living with my parents, well ok I don't know if you can call weekly trips to the city to spend money normal. But I was happy. I really don't want to talk to this doctor person about all of this. I hate explaining that my parents died in a car crash twice. Mom why did you choose for them to save me? Why couldn't I just have died at birth too? I mean then I would be with my parents forever. Or you know why couldn't I have been in the car six years ago. Maybe Olivia is right maybe I do need to talk to someone. After all I'm yelling at two people in heaven. If that isn't crazy I don't know what is…" Meghan was silent for a moment trying to hear what her mother might say if she was here. She was listening for so long that she slipped into a deep sleep and for once in years she slept all night. Peacefully.

**Please review I am despart to know what you think. I really want at least 5 reviews otherwise it's not worth it to keep writing. Thanks!**


	16. Trying to be Normal

**I am tryin to move the story along in this chapter. Sorry if it is not up to par. Happy Reading!**

At six the next morning Olivia biological alarm clock kicked in. She rolled over to see that it was only Alex sleeping next to her. She quickly rolled over to see that it was six in the morning. Why hadn't Meghan come and gotten in bed yet? Olivia got up and went into the living much to her surprise Meghan was sleeping soundly on the couch. She wanted to let her to continue to sleep but she knew that Alex had set up the appointment at eight with the school and she need to get up, eat and get ready. Olivia as quietly as she could walked into the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. Just as she press the button for it to start brewing she felt slender arms wrap around her waist and Alex place a kiss on her neck. Olivia then turned around and returned the embrace with a very passionate kiss.

"Good Morning." Alex said in a little more than a whisper.

"Good Morning." Olivia replied as the two of the just continued to stand there holding each other until Meghan walked in. She had heard and smelt the coffee. She too was surprised to see that she was still on the couch when she saw the time.

"Well isn't this just the cutest little love fest" She said as she reached for a bowl to pour herself some cereal.

"Good Morning." Alex said as she went to join Meghan at the table. Olivia got two mugs down from the cabinet and pour herself and Alex some coffee.

"Do you want some milk or juice?" She asked Meghan.

"No I don't think so." Meghan replied.

"Ok so at eight we have an appointment with the school to get you enrolled." Alex informed her niece who responded by rolling her eyes.

"What school is it?" Meghan asked.

"H.S. 416. Its only 4 blocks away and it has pretty good test scores" Alex told her.

"Oh great."

"Meghan you are going to have to go back to school" Alex said trying her best to keep the snap out of her voice.

"Alex I want to go back to my old school."

"I'm sorry sweetie but I think that it would be best if you had a new start."

Meghan got up and stormed out of the kitchen heading toward the bathroom. She needed to shower and to think. She didn't want to go to new school. She wanted to go back to her old school. It wasn't that she had many friends there in fact the only friend she had was Kayley. But she really wanted to see Kayley. She knew she could probably tell Olivia that and she would take her side. But she also knew that if she told Olivia about Kayley's life that Kayley could end up dead. She didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling. And to top it off she was supposed to go and tell some stranger what see was feeling and thinking. How was she supposed to do that if she didn't even know what she was feeling, let alone thinking? Meghan got out of the shower and got dressed. She decided that she should wear a blue skirt with a green fitted t-shirt. When she finished she came back into the living room and found Alex and Olivia there snuggling and talking. Olivia was dressed, while Alex was still in her pajamas.

"Okay babe. I got to go now" Olivia said when she saw Meghan come out of the bedroom. She pulled Alex in for another passionate kiss before she left.

"Well I'm going to go shower." Alex said

"Okay I'm going to go down to the lobby and get some candy." Meghan replied.

When Meghan got down to the bottom floor she was greeted by Tom.

"Hello Miss Chrestler."

"Hey Tom."

"What are you doing down here alone?"

"I just needed to get away."

"Why?"

"Because she just…"

"If I may give you some advice." Tom interrupted.

Meghan just looked at him hoping she wasn't about to get some annoying lecture. But it appeared to be inevitable.

"They love you and want you to be able to move past this. Tell them what you are thinking and feeling."

"What do they call all the times I've come to them crying?"

"That is not actually talking to them. Only you truly know why you are crying they can speculate but only you can tell them why." Just then Alex exited the elevator in slacks and a sweater.

"Hey Tom. Meghan are you ready?" She said as she looked at Meghan.

Meghan nodded as then looked at Tom once more.

"Would you like me to hail a cab, Ms. Cabot?" Tom asked.

"Yes please." Tom left to hail a cab. Once he had successes Meghan followed Alex out to the street.

"Maybe you're right Tom, thanks." Meghan said as she got into the cab.

Alex looked at Tom who winked closing the door behind them.

**Please review. When I get three reviews I will post the next chapter. Thanks!**


	17. To School Maybe

**Ok so this chapter is well I'm not sure. Happy Reading!**

The cab ride to the school was quiet neither Alex nor Meghan spoke a word. Each was lost in their, own thoughts. Meghan was trying to figure out what she was supposed to tell Alex. She really was tired of talking about it but Tom had made a good point. They don't really know exactly why she is crying. They can make an educated guess but only Meghan knew the details of why she was crying.

Alex was staring out the window in a desperate attempt to decipher what Meghan had said to Tom. What were they talking about and what was Tom right about? Alex didn't understand why Meghan would talk to Tom about what was upsetting her but she wouldn't talk to her or Olivia. Why didn't Meghan trust them. She had been so forth coming about what happened when Olivia was taking her statement. But now that it was all over Meghan was becoming distant.

"Hey Lady! We're here." The cab driver said when he notice that both women were too deep in their own thoughts to notice that they had arrived.

Alex gave him some cash as the exited the car. School had already started so no one was outside of the school.

"Let's go." Alex said as she walked towards the front door. Meghan followed her deciding she had no choice. They walked into the front office and a lady sitting behind the desk looked up at them.

"Miss Cabot?" She asked.

Alex nodded.

"He is expecting you third door on the right."

Alex and Meghan walked down the hall and knock on the wooden door that had a plaque with Mr. George Scapes engraved on it.

"Come in" he said from the other side of the door.

Alex opened the door allowing Meghan to enter first then closed the door behind herself. Mr. Scapes stood up offering his hand to Meghan, "You must be Miss Chrestler." Meghan nodded as she firmly shook his hand. He was younger than she expected

He then turned to Alex again offering his hand, "And you are Ms. Cabot?"

"Yes, Nice to meet you." She said as she shook his hand.

"Please take a seat." He said as he pointed the chairs that were behind his desk. "Well Miss. Chrestler I had your records pulled and I see that you have a very impressive academic history. Why do you just want to go to your zoned school? You could easily get into a specialty program at any school. I can also see that you were accepted into Manhattan Business Academy for freshman."

"You were" Alex interjected surprised at this new piece of information. Meghan nodded.

"But you declined. Now you are leaving your old zoned high school for this one. Why?" Mr. Scapes continued.

"Why what?" Meghan snapped.

"Why don't you want to go to Manhattan Businesss Academy?"

"My foster parents wouldn't let me." She said as she looked away.

"I see. Well I don't think that you belong here. I think that you belong in an academic program."

"But the year has already started. So obviously I can't get into any programs now." Meghan said a bit annoyed at his optimism.

"Well see if it was just you and your parents you would be correct but you see I can make a recommendation if I believe that you are not being challenged. And I believe you are not being challenged. Ok I'm going to give you some information. I want you and Miss Cabot to look over it tonight and I will see you tomorrow morning at eight." He handed Meghan a folder and stood up to show them out the door. Meghan left without a word.

Alex stood up and thanked Mr. Scapes for his time before running after Meghan.

"Meghan is this why you didn't want to come to school?" She asked when she finally caught up to her outside.

"What no." she responded, "I really just don't want to do this anymore. I'm done."

"Do what Meghan?"

"Live."

"Meghan," Alex said as she grabbed her arm. They were now at the street and Meghan had hailed a cab, "I love you. Talk to me, let me help you." Meghan pulled away from her aunt and got in the cab. Alex got in behind her as her eyes started to fill with tears. Why wouldn't Meghan talk to her? Alex gave the driver the address for the precinct. They were going to meet Olivia, Serena and Casey for lunch anyway. But Alex needed to talk to Olivia now.

Meghan stared at the window contemplating what to do. She really did want to get into a good high school. She wanted to study business because her mother was a very successful business woman and she really wanted to be able to take back her business one day. At least that is what she wanted to do to before, before she was raped. Now all she really wanted to do was die.

**In the next chapter things are going to start happening. And what happened to Kayley? Stay tuned to find out. I need three reviews before I will post again. Thanks.**


	18. Here Comes Kayley

**Happy 4th people! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Happy Reading!**

When Alex and Meghan arrived at the 1-6, Meghan saw a face she recognized. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Kayley's father was being escorted by Fin into the building. He saw her too and he winked at her. That gave her the chills. Alex notice that something had spooked Meghan but she couldn't figure out what. Meghan waited until he had gone in the building and then turned to Alex, "Can we go in the back way?" She asked her eyes begging.

"Sure" Alex said not wanting to upset her niece anymore than she already was. She lead Meghan to the back door and they took the stairs up to the squad room.

When Meghan was walking into the squad room she instantly recognized the person sitting next to Olivia's desk talking to her. "Kayley!"

Kayley looked up when she heard her name being called. She jumped up out of the chair and ran to her best friend and threw her arms around her, "You're alive," She whispered as they broke apart.

"Yeah."Meghan whispered back to her as she began to cry..

Alex looked at Olivia who was just as puzzled as to how the girls knew each other.

"Ok girls lets go talk up stairs." Olivia said.

Meghan looked at her rolling her eyes. But Kayley made the decision for her, "Ok." She said and followed Olivia up the stairs with Meghan and then Alex on her heels.

Meghan and Kayley sat down at the card table that was there and Olivia and Alex did the same.

"So how do you two know each other?" Olivia asked.

"She used to live next door to me." Kayley said.

"You made the 911 call that night didn't you?" Meghan asked.

Kayley nodded her head as she began to cry she still had nightmares about watching Meghan being attacked. She then glanced at the cast that was still on her arm, when Meghan noticed this she too began to cry.

"What are you doing here?" Meghan asked Kayley.

"I fell in dance class and had to go get stitches, they took x-rays and then started asking questions." Kayley began, "Then Olivia showed up and brought me here to talk. Somehow they know he's been hurting me."

"Is she going to have to go back home to him" Meghan asked Olivia and Alex.

Alex looked at Olivia not know what was going on.

"Not if she can tell me everything that he has done." Olivia said looking at Kayley.

Kayley nodded.

"Ok then let's go to an interview room and we can get this over with."

"Can Meghan come with me?" Kayley said her eyes pooling with tears.

"No." Alex and Olivia said in unison.

"It's not really appropriate" Olivia said after she noticed the hurt on Meghan's face.

"Ok" Kayley responded sounding defeated.

As Kayley left Meghan looked at Alex with tears in her eyes she finally began to talk just a little bit. "I haven't had nightmares about him before I moved in with you. But then I did I see him and he is raping me over and over and over again. I can't get him out of my head. I don't want to see him anymore." She stopped because she was crying so hard that no more sounds would come out. Alex pulled her into a tight embrace and didn't let her go. She was going to make sure that Meghan got the help she needed.

Olivia had taken Kayley down into the interview room behind the captain's office. She had started a tape recorder as Kayley began to tell her story.

"When I was little he just hit me when I didn't do something perfectly. I've had broken bones and all kinds of injuries. He just told everyone I was clumsy like my mother." She was then interrupted by yelling out in the squad room. She recognized the voice it was her mother's. "Where is my family?" She screamed at Munch when he got up to help her.

"M'am if you will please just calm down I can help you." Munch was trying to get her to stop yelling.

Meghan and Alex heard the yelling and looked over the balcony to see who it was.

"It's Kayley's mother" Meghan informed Alex.

Just then Kayley's father bolted out of interrogation.

"Linda I'm here."

"Steven, what is going on?"

"Nothing," He turned to the captain. "Now I would like to take my daughter home." He said sternly leaving no room for debate. The captain went to knock on the door to the interview room. Olivia opened the door she could see from the look on Cragen's face that Kayley would be going home.

"Cap I need a few more minutes." Olivia begged

"No! We are leaving now." Steven said.

Kayley exited the room trying not to cry because if she did she wouldn't have another chance to get away.

"Kayley, This is my card." Olivia said.

"Let's go Kayley." Her mom called her as she took the card.

**Don't worry its about to get better! Stay tuned and please review!**


	19. Talking to the Doc

**Sorry for the long break, family in town. But I think the update is good. Happy Reading!**

It was 5 o'clock and Alex was sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Winker and Meghan was supposed to be talking to her. Meghan had just walked in rolling her eyes. Alex assumed she would be lucky if Meghan didn't cuss the good doctor out.

Meghan was sitting in the room staring at all of the diplomas on her wall. She did not want to talk.

"Meghan, if you don't want to talk we can just sit here for the whole hour." Dr. Winker said. She was pretty with long brown hair and bright green eyes. Meghan rolled her eyes again.

"Alright, that's fine I've got some paper work to do anyway."

"My parents died in a car wreck." Meghan said not really sure why she revealed this piece of information.

"When?"

"Well my birth parents died when I was born, and my adoptive parents died when I was eight."

"So then you've been with your aunt for six years now?"

"No I've only been with Alex and Liv for a couple weeks."

"Well where did you go when your parents died?"

"Foster Care."

"Why?"

"Because there was no other family"

"But you have family now why didn't you have any then?"

"Well I had my grandmother but she was really sick and couldn't take care of me. And Alex was in witness protection."

"I see" she paused to write, "Well what happened to cause you to leave foster care?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Meghan snapped and went back to looking at the wall.

"Ok, we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about."

"I don't want to live anymore." Meghan said after a long moment of silent.

The doctor looked up from her notes at the girl who was beginning to cry.

"Why?"

"Because of what he did to me, I could have stopped him or run away or something. But no I just stayed there in that room every night waiting for him. I knew he would come he always came always!" She was yelling and didn't understand why she was saying all of this to a stranger. "I'm ruined. I'll never be able to have sex without seeing him no one will want me and It's all my fault… It's my fault." Meghan was now sobbing uncontrollable and was starting to hyperventilate.

"Meghan… It was not your fault, it was never your fault." The doctor said softly. "I'm going to go ask Alex to come in now ok?"

"No! I don't want her to know any of this."

"Meghan I'm not going to tell her anything about that, but I do need to tell her that you are contemplating suicide."

Meghan sighed knowing that arguing wouldn't get her very far. She knew she was going to tell Alex unless she could tell her convincingly that she didn't mean it, but Meghan meant it she still meant it.

Alex was invited into the room and sat down in the middle of the couch making sure to give Meghan plenty of space. But Meghan surprised her by moving over and snuggling into her side. Alex put her arms around her and rubbed comforting circles on her back.

"Are you ok sweetie?" Alex asked.

Meghan shook her head no. Right now she needed to be held and needed to fell love. She felt so dirty and so broken.

"Well I think that you have made the right decision Alex by bring Meghan in today" Dr. Winker started as she sat down. "Meghan had expressed that she doesn't want to live anymore."

Alex began to push Meghan away so that she could look at her be Meghan wrapped her arms around her and she wasn't letting go.

"I think that Meghan needs to see a doctor about getting on some antidepressants and needs to see me again next week. Other than that if you can keep a close eye on her and take precautions she'll be fine."

Meghan finally looked up at Alex and saw that she too had tears in her eyes, "Are you mad?" She asked.

"No baby I'm not. I love you so much." They sat there for a long time holding each other and crying. Alex continued to rub Meghan's back hoping that maybe that had made a breakthrough that maybe now they could start building a relationship.

"Ok well same time next week?" Dr. Winker asked.

Alex nodded as she helped Meghan up and they left the office, they needed to get home. As they were leaving the building Olivia called.

"Hey Liv"

"Hey you want me to pick up some take out?"

"Yeah whatever you get is great."

"Ok, see you at home?"

"Yeah. I love you."

"Love you too baby." With that Alex hung up. She needed Olivia right now more than anything and she was about to be with her.

**Please please review. I will be posting twenty tonight too. Thanks!**


	20. Dinner Time

**Well I will be back tomorrow night with more. Until then Hapy Reading!**

Olivia arrived home with Chinese in tow. She was surprised that she was the first one to arrive but decided to take the time and make everything nice and neat. She set out the plates and organized everything on the coffee table. As she was opening the last box the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hello Detective Benson, this is Jonathan Klien, your landlord."

"Oh yes of course."

"Well I have good news a two bedroom apartment will be available at the end of the month if you are still interested."

"Yeah of course we are. What do I need to do?"

"I need you to come down and sign some papers but not until the apartment is available. So I'll just give you a call in a few weeks."

"Ok thank you so much."

"No problem."

Olivia hung up the phone just as Alex and Meghan were walking in the door.

"Hey gorgeous." Olivia said pulling her in to a tight embrace. She could feel that Alex was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She could also see that Meghan had been crying. "Hey Meghan."

"Hi." Meghan said shyly.

"Well how did it all go today?"

Meghan just shrugged in response to Olivia's question.

"Meghan got into Manhattan Business Academy and has a very impressive GPA." Alex informed her.

"Wow really?" Olivia said to Meghan.

"Yeah." Alex responded when she saw that Meghan wasn't going to. Meghan was in her own little world trying to understand what had happened today. She had told a complete stranger things that she hadn't told anyone not even Kayley. She knew Kayley would try to convince to her that she was wrong. Dr. Winker had told her that is wasn't her fault but she didn't make her feel stupid for thinking that. Meghan was brought out her thoughts when Alex waved a hand in front of her face.

"What?" Meghan snapped at her.

"We need to look at the applications." Alex said to her.

"Why?"

"Because Meghan you need to get back in school." Alex was now losing her patience.

"Fine whatever." She went to sit down on the couch and took the application from Alex.

"You're not going to eat?" Olivia asked as she but a large orange chicken in her mouth.

"Not hungry." Meghan said.

"Ok so I can just fill this out by myself. Or do you want to play mommy?" Meghan was being snotty and she did feel bad about it but she really didn't want to be babied right now.

"No you can fill it out alone." Alex snapped back she wasn't in the mood to put up with a teenager right now.

Meghan got up and went to the kitchen and started filling out the same application she had filled out last year.

"What is that all about?" Olivia asked after witnessing what had just occurred between the two Cabot women.

"I don't know." Alex said putting down her food and pulling her knees to her chest. Olivia also put down her food and wrapped her arms around her lover. Alex leaned into the embrace.

"When we were at the station house she actually told me that when she has nightmares she sees him rapping her, then she told Dr. Winker that she wanted to die. I just don't know how to help her Liv."

Olivia could feel the tension in Alex's body release and she continued to rub circle along her arm. Olivia rested her head against Alex's. Meghan stomped into the room and both women looked up when she made her presence clear.

"Yes Princess?" Olivia said with a hint of attitude.

"I finished." Meghan snapped back.

"Ok I know that you are hurting but I am not going to deal with the attitude Meghan."

Meghan's stern face soften and she burst into tears.

Olivia got up and led her into the bedroom she laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers up over her. Olivia then laid down with her trying to sooth her sobs away. About half and hour later Alex came in and found her niece and her lover both asleep. She then climbed into bed with them and she too feel asleep.

**Please review. I will update when I have 5 reviews. Thanks**


	21. The Next Day

**Ok so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again but please enjoy. Happy Reading!**

It was now 12:30 and Meghan couldn't go back to sleep. She decided it would be better to go in the living room rather than just lay there tossing and turning she didn't want to wake Alex or Olivia. It was a miracle she hadn't woken them already. The nightmare was so vivid she sat bolt up and still neither of them stirred. She was now sitting on the couch just thinking. Thinking about Kayley mostly, what was she doing now? Was she awake or sleeping? Did he hurt her tonight after what had happened today? Of course he did anytime anything went wrong, which in his mind was about 98% of the time he took it out on Kayley and her mother. And she considered the police looking into Kayley's injuries a big problem. She eventually fell asleep.

Olivia was roused by her ringing phone. When she got a look at the clock she notice that is was now 2:45.

"Benson" When Alex heard Olivia answer the phone she rolled over and snuggled close to her trying to listen to the conversation. But before she could hear anything Olivia sat up and threw the cover off of herself hanging up the phone.

"What?" Alex question.

"There has been a disturbance at Kayley's residence."

"Do I need to get up?"

"No babe you can sleep." Olivia said as she went to kiss her girlfriend goodnight. Alex settled back into bed as Olivia left the room, but she could sleep. Olivia noticed that Meghan was sleeping on the couch and before she left she covered her up with a blaket.

Meghan sat up as she hear someone at the door. She couldn't see anyone but she still ran to Alex's room. She found Alex there who sat up.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked when she saw that Meghan was trembling.

"I heard someone at the door."

"That was just Liv leaving."

"Oh." Meghan said as her fear subsided.

"Come on. Come get in bed with me."

Meghan did as she was told and she let Alex hold her close. It felt good to be held close and comforted, not abused. Eventually both women fell asleep.

Alex and Meghan were both awaken by the sound of Alex's phone. Meghan got up to go to the restroom as Alex answered the phone.

"Cabot."

"Hey it's Liv."

"Liv? Where are you calling from?"

"The hospital, I wasn't getting a signal."

"Oh. Well What's going on?"

"It's bad Alex. Linda is dead and Kayley is in surgery. Doc says if she makes it she will be in a coma for at least a couple days."

Alex was silent as Meghan came out of the bathroom.

"I'm going to have some breakfast." Meghan said exiting the room.

"What should I tell Meghan?"

"Well don't tell her anything right now. Just get her to that appointment this morning and get her enrolled in school. Then bring her to the precinct."

"Ok…" there was silence on both ends of the phone. "Hey liv…"

"Yeah?" She answered trying to steady her voice.

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby." And Olivia hung up the phone.

Alex got out of bed and went to join Meghan in the kitchen. She saw her niece's application on the counter and started reviewing it. Meghan had not actually filled it out.

"Meghan why didn't you fill this out?"

"Because I didn't want to."

"Ok well fine. I'll fill it out for you."

"No!" Meghan yelled and Alex glared at her. "Sorry but can't I please just go back to my old school?"

"Meghan we already talked about this. A new start will be good it will help you move on and put all of this behind you."

Meghan just sat there staring at her aunt. She really wanted to go back to her old school back to Kayley.

"Meghan?"

"I don't want to do this."

"Why?"

"Because kayley was my only friend after my parents died because she understood what I was going through. Now you want me to leave the only person who understood. How will that help me move on?"

Alex hadn't thought about that she didn't know what to do. She thought about telling Meghan that Kayley wouldn't be going to that school any more but decided against it.

"Meghan you have got to trust me on this. Ok?"

"No not ok."

"Ok if you don't want to fill this out properly then that's ok too. I'm going to go shower. We are going to enroll you in school wither you like it or not." Alex left the kitchen.

Meghan got the application and actually filled it out this time. Just wanting to get Alex off her back but as she filled it out she decided that maybe a fresh start wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Please please please review! Thanks!**


	22. Enrolled Fianlly

**I am on vacation and I'm trying my best to continue to update. Anyway you should enjoy this next installment. Happy Reading!**

Meghan and Alex were sitting in Mr. Scrapes office once again.

"Well Maghan, If this is where you really want to go then why don't we get you set up with a guidance counselor."

"Okay when can she start?" Alex asked.

"Tomorrow. Her office is three doors down on the left." Mr. Scrapes stood up one last time and shook Alex's hand. Meghan was already knocking on the door of Mrs. Coddle.

"Come in." The woman responded.

When Meghan entered the room she saw

"Hi, I'm Meghan Chrestler and this is my aunt Alexandra Cabot."

"Ok well are you ready to register for classes?"

"Yes M'am." Meghan sat down across from Mrs. Coddle and Alex sat down in the other chair.

"Ok well I see you were taking latin at your old school."

"Yes."

"So we will need to keep you in that language but other than that you can look over this. It's out course selection guide. And I need you to fill this out. I'll be back shortly."

"Thanks." Alex said as the woman got up to leave. "So what do you want to take?" She asked her niece as she leaned over to view the form that Meghan was given."

"The same thing that I took at my old school." Meghan responded rudely.

"Well ok." Alex sat back in her chair to allow Meghan the space she seemed to need.

After about ten minutes Mrs. Coddle came back into her office, "Ok are we all done filling out the form?"

"Yeah." Meghan said almost in an exhausted voice. She handed the form back to the short gray headed woman.

"Ok what have we got here?" Mrs. Coddle pulled her glasses off of her head and on to her face as she began to type in the course Meghan had requested. "Latin, good. Choir, well I don't know what choir you would be put in seeing as you are new to the school and weren't able to participate in out audition process. Do you still want to take choir?" Meghan responded by rolling her eyes and nodding her head. "Ok then we have geometry, english, biology, good." She stopped talking for a moment so that she her typing could catch up. "Ok and we have world geography, good and P.E. and French 3?" Her voiced raise questioningly.

"Yes I can speak French but I don't know the grammar I was taking it at my old school."

Mrs. Coddle pulled up her another screen to check out Meghan's story. "Oh I see it here. Ok then…" She paused to finish typing the information into the computer. "Ok well that is all I need from you other than the change in personal information, but you can bring that in tomorrow when you pick up your schedule. Ok?" She smiled at Alex and Meghan.

"Ok" Alex replied.

Mrs. Coddle began to thumb through a filing cabinet. "Here are the forms Mrs. Cabot." She said handing them to Alex.

"Thank you for your time." Alex responded as she stood up and took the foms.

Meghan was already out of the office door and once again Alex was jogging to catch up with her and didn't succeed until they were at the sidewalk and Meghan only stopped to hail a cab.

"Whoa, Meghan I would really appreciate it if you would stop running from me." Alex said getting in behind her.

"Whatever." She responded rolling her eyes.

Alex gave the cab driver the address of the precinct and then began to look of the forms. There was about ten pages and each of them had so many blanks on them. It was going to take her a few hours to fill them out properly.

"Where are we going?" Meghan asked as she pulled Alex from her thoughts.

"The precinct." Alex responded not looking up from her papers.

"Why?" Meghan questioned annoyed.

"Because Olivia wants to talk to you."

Meghan rolled her eyes as they pulled up in front of the precinct. The two women got out of the cab and walked up to the squad room. As they exited the elevator Fin approached them.

"Hey Meg!" He said excitedly.

Meghan smiled at him, "Hey Fin." She responded as they walked into the squad room.

Alex notice this change in attitude when her niece greeted Fin. She didn't understand why he got a warmhearted welcome and all she got a eye rolling snotty response when she tried to speak to her.

Meghan watched as Munch walked around the corner escorting Kayley's dad in handcuffs. She immediately became concerned and ran into the squad room to find Olivia. She didn't see her sitting at her desk so she looked to her right and saw that Elliot, Casey and Olivia were in the Captain's office. She ran and Alex made sure to stay on her heels this time. The three people looked up as they heard the intruders coming closer.

"Is she dead?" Meghan asked panic stricken before anyone else could open their mouths.

"No, but she is hurt." Olivia responded.

"How bad?" Meghan was still terrified of the information she was about to receive.

"She is in a coma." Olivia said as she put a hand on Meghan's shoulder trying to comfort the distraught teen.

Meghan looked a bit relieved. If she was just in a coma then there was still hope.

"I want to see her." Meghan said with pleading eyes.

**Hoped you liked it! Please review the more reviews I get the harder I will try to update while chillaxin' on vacation! Thanks!**


	23. Chapter23

**Ok so I hve recieve no reviews but I do love to write so here you go. Happy Reading!**

Olivia and Meghan walked up to the information desk on the intensive care floor and Alex was close behind them. Alex did not think that it was advisable for Meghan to see her friend in such a condition. She and Olivia had argued. Olivia kept saying that it would be good for Meghan to see that her friend was alive and getting help. Eventually Alex agreed well she was forced to agree when Meghan began to throw a fit like a two-year old. That was not going to be ignored and once they got home Alex was going to be setting some ground rules. Meghan needed to understand that she wasn't the enemy and that she couldn't act like she had been acting.

They finally arrived outside of the room Meghan began to walk in when a nurse tried to stop her. Upon seeing Olivia she allowed Meghan to enter the room. Meghan just stood in the door way for a second. Kayley had a tube coming out of her mouth and was hooked up to countless machines. She had bruises everywhere some were old some were new. She had stitches above her right eye and along her left jaw. Meghan wasn't disgusted nor did she feel pity. She simple saw her friend who needed to be comforted. Meghan walked over to the bed and took Kayley's hand in her own. "Le Cher Seigneur, guérissez S'il vous plaît ses blessures et faites-la mieux de l'intérieur et de l'extérieur. J'ai besoin d'elle. S'il vous plaît seigneur." (Dear Lord, Please heal her wounds and make her better inside and out. I need her. Please lord.) Meghan whispered.

Olivia struggled to try and translate what Meghan was saying and Alex was trying to keep the tears from leaving her eyes. Olivia looked at Alex expectantly, "She begged God to make Kayley better." Alex responded in a little more than a whisper and thus she received a glare from Meghan.

Kayley's doctor came in and was shocked to see more than Olivia in the room. "Detective I need to speak with you." She said and Olivia followed her into the hall.

"What's up?" Olivia asked once the door to the room had been closed.

"She is in worse shape than I thought."

"But she is going to be ok. Right?"

"I think so I mean she is a fighter we lost her on the table 3 times and she came back every time. I think that she will be ok. We will keep her in a medically induced coma for at least a week to give her body time to heal. Then we will reevaluate our plan of treatment then."

"Ok thanks." Olivia replied shaking her hand and reentering the room.

"Well…" Meghan said expectantly.

"Well I think that it is time to go." Olivia responded.

"I don't want to go and what did the doctor say?" Meghan responded with disdain.

"I know you don't but we need to go so come on." Olivia said as she grabbed Meghan's arm. Meghan thought about fighting back but decided against it. Instead she went with Olivia willingly. No one else spoke until they were at home nearly an hour later.

"Are you going to tell me what the doctor said?" Meghan asked now she there was begging in her voice.

"She said that Kayley looks like she will make it, but they will keep her in a coma for at least a week."

"So can I go see her everyday?" Meghan asked hopefully.

"Meghan you still start school tomorrow and we need to make a doctor's appointment for you," Meghan began to open her mouth in protest at Alex's words, "but I think that maybe we can go visit in the evenings. Does that sound fair?"

"No, but alright." Meghan went to the kitchen in search of something to eat she seemed to be starving.

"Alex?" Olivia asked as she followed the blonde to their bedroom.

"Mhmm?"

"Have you made a doctor's appointment for her yet."

"No I haven't had time."

"Ok well I think that you should take her to see Michelle."

"Your old girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I think that Meghan will like her and that is kind of important. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess" Alex pondered this proposition for a moment. "Ok can you call and make an appointment?"

"Sure what time?"

"After 3:30 not during school but other than that I don't care." Alex said as she left the room to go and see what Meghan was up to. She found Meghan asleep on the couch. She couldn't believe that she had only been gone for maybe ten minutes and Meghan was asleep. She decided that given that Meghan was in a constant state of irritability she needed the sleep.

Olivia join her in the living room. "Michelle can see her tomorrow at 4:15"

"She looks so peaceful right now." Alex responded.

"Yeah she does." Olivia responded and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. Alex turned to kiss Olivia.

"Come on" Alex said leading Olivia to their bedroom.

**Stay tuned I will try to post again soon. Please review they make me happy! Thanks. **


	24. An Explanation

**I did make one small change to 23 just an FYI! Happy Reading!**

When Alex and Olivia reached their bedroom Olivia pushed Alex down on the bed collapsing on top of her. Olivia covered Alex's lips with her own waiting until Alex granted her passage. Once Alex parted her lips Olivia's tongue invaded her mouth. The two women battled for dominance until air became a necessity. They rested their foreheads against each other as Alex reached down to take off Olivia's tank top. Olivia slipped her hands up Alex's shirt and unclasped her bra then she slipped Alex's shirt over her head.

"I've missed you Livvy." Alex whispered.

Olivia responded smiling mischievously and then sliding her hand between Alex's thighs. Alex gasp and leaned into the touch. They hadn't been together in weeks and they knew they shouldn't be doing anything now but Meghan was asleep and they could be alone. They wanted each other. They needed each other. Alex pulled her pants and panties down and Olivia followed suit. They then got under the covers and continued to kiss. Alex was the first to slip her fingers in between Olivia's fold. Olivia leaned back and allowed her lover to take her to a place of pure pleasure and bliss.

"Oh God… Alex…" Olivia said in between gasp.

"Shhh… Don't wake, Meghan" Alex said as she inserted a third finger into Olivia. Alex could feel Olivia getting closer when she finally pushed her love over the edge she smashed their lips together to muffle Olivia's scream.

Olivia then flipped Alex onto her back and kissed her way down her body. Stopping briefly at each breast giving each the special attention it deserved. She was kissing Alex's thighs when they heard a noise coming from the living room. Immediately Olivia stopped and looked at Alex.

"Meghan." Alex said panic rising in her voice she threw on a t-shirt and shorts and bolted into the living room. She found her niece leaning over the couch puking. Olivia came in seconds behind her.

Meghan looked up at Alex with tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry" she whispered.

"There is nothing to be sorry for _ma princesse_." Alex said. She rushed over to help Meghan up and around the mess. Olivia went to the kitchen to get some cleaning products. Alex lead Meghan back to the bathroom and ran the shower. She let Meghan get in the shower and closed the door behind her. She went back into the living room to check on Olivia.

"You need any help?" Alex asked.

"No thanks I got it." Olivia said as she continued to scrub. Alex went to the boxes in which Meghan kept her clothes and dug until she found some pajamas. She then went back to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"What?" Meghan responded through the door.

Alex opened the door and left the clothes on the counter, "I'm leaving you some clothes."

Meghan didn't respond. About fifteen minutes later Alex and Olivia were laying in bed just holding each other when Meghan came out of the bathroom dressed and her hair was tied up in a towel.

"Come here." Alex said softly as she sat up reaching for her brush sitting on her end table. Meghan did as she was told and Alex took her niece's hair down and began brushing through it.

"So did my mom…" Alex began.

"Gigi." Meghan corrected her.

"Gigi teach you French?"

"Yeah she did she thought that it was important that I learn it,"

"Because it is the way that our ancestors spoke to each other." Alex finished Meghan statement. "She told your mother and me the same thing."

"Oh." Meghan said as Alex finally got all the knots out of her hair. Meghan crawl next to Olivia and Alex laid down on her other side.

"I'm late."

"What?" Olivia asked genuinely perplexed.

"I was supposed to start three week ago."

"Oh…" Both women said in unison. They finally understood all the eating and the grumpiness and now the vomiting. Meghan began to cry and Alex began to rub her back while Olivia handed her a box of tissues.

"Well you have an appointment with a doctor tomorrow." Olivia informed her optimistically.

"I don't want to have a baby." Meghan sobbed at her. Alex pulled her close and Olivia wrapped her arms around both of them.

"Okay you don't have to." Alex said looking into Olivia's eyes trying to guess what she was thinking and feeling.

Olivia smiled and nodded reassuringly at Alex. She knew that Meghan was in no way ready to be a mother but the fact that she could be pregnant with a rapist child did stir something in Olivia. 'But Meghan is 14 and there are more options now the circumstances are different too' Olivia thought to herself blinking back tears. Alex notice this a reached up to brush her cheek.

"I love you." She mouthed. And then Olivia did start to cry.

**Please review they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks**


	25. Olivia and Meghan

**Don't know how I feel about this chapter but you know. Happy Reading!**

Eventually Alex and Meghan had fallen asleep but Olivia lay there awake. She didn't know how to feel. She knew that it was not best for Meghan to have and certainly not keep this baby. But part of her knew that because her mom raised her instead of giving her up for adoption that she had become the woman she was. She loved her mom and she knew at least part of her mom loved her but she really didn't know how to feel about the situation. Olivia was pulled from her thoughts when Meghan scurried out of bed and into the bathroom. Olivia laid there for a second until she heard Meghan start to cry. She got up and walked into the bathroom. Meghan looked up at her for a second the tears rolling down her cheeks and then leaned over the toilet to puke again. Olivia wetted a washcloth and then went to sit down against the wall next to the toilet.

"Here" Olivia said handing Meghan the washcloth.

"Thanks" Meghan took it and sat back on her feet. After a few minutes of whipping her face Olivia pulled her close and held her before kissing the top of her head. Meghan began to cry.

"Je suis Olivia désolée, je suis désolée ainsi." Meghan mumbled between sobs.

"Meghan you don't need to be sorry for anything."

"But I don't want to keep this thing."

"And understandably so in order to love a child truly and fully you have to get that child out of love not hate." Meghan just continued to sob and Olivia rub comforting circles on her back. Once Meghan had stopped crying Olivia decided to tell her what she was feeling.

"I was a product of rape." Olivia said bluntly trying to keep the waver out of her voice.

"What?" Meghan asked really confused at what this piece of information was supposed to mean.

"My father raped my mother and she had me."

"Are you telling me that I should have the baby."

"Well first off we don't even know if you are pregnant yet, secondly no I'm not saying that at all. My mother and I weren't happy when I was growing up. And with you not being ready to be a mother on top of that…"

"So I shouldn't have the baby." Meghan interrupted.

"No…" Olivia was getting frustrated. "Meghan in order for a baby to be happy the parents have to be happy."

"I see." Meghan said leaning more into Olivia's touch.

"Come on let's go back to bed." The two got up and Meghan brushed her teeth. Olivia chuckled when she saw that Alex had taken her pillow and spread out on the bed virtually taking up the whole king sized bed.

"Well I am kind of hungry anyway." Meghan said as she walked into the bedroom.

"Ok then let's see what we have to eat." Olivia replied as she walked into the kitchen followed by Meghan.

"How about just some toast." Olivia suggested.

"Probably the best idea but can I have some jelly s'il vous plait?"

"S'il vous plait…" Olivia paused trying to remember what it meant. "please." She replied excitedly.

"Yeah." Meghan said smiling and getting a glass for water. Olivia made her some toast and jelly and the two of them sat down at the table so that Meghan could eat. The two of then sat in silence for about 15 minutes while Meghan ate. Eventually when she was finished they retired to the living room. Meghan sat down on the couch and Olivia began to walk to the bedroom.

"Liv?" Meghan pleaded.

"Yeah?"

"Will you lay with me for just a little while please?"

Olivia contemplated the question for a few seconds before answering, "Ok."

Olivia laid down on the couch and allowed Meghan to lay down on top of her. She pulled the blanket over both of them. She began to rub circles on Meghan back and it wasn't long before both of them were asleep.

Alex awoke to the alarm clock going off and was quiet surprised to find that she was alone in the bed. She walked into the living room smelling the coffee. Meghan was in the kitchen making the coffee and toast while Olivia slept on the couch.

"Hey" Meghan said as she rushed past her to the bathroom. Alex then approached her sleeping girlfriend on the couch and planted a kiss on her cheek. Olivia stirred and opened her eyes to see Alex smiling down at her.

"Good morning Livvy."

"Good morning Lex." Olivia whispered back before pulling her girlfriend in to a passionate kiss. They only stopped when air was needed and when they did they heard the shower running.

"Are we still going to make her go to school?" Olivia asked

"Well since she is in the shower I would assume she wants to go." Alex responded pouring herself some coffee.

Some time after Meghan came out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go. "I'm ready." She announced to the room.

Olivia was dressed with portable coffee in hand, "Ok then let's go." Alex kissed Olivia as Meghan lead the way out the door.

Meghan was starting to feel like maybe she could get past this.

**Please review with your thoughts and if your lucky you could get another update tonight. Thanks**


	26. Meghan Starts School

**Ok so I used the little bit of french I knew and a translator sorry if it is not perfect. Also I really like this chapter alot it just flowed so well. Happy Reading!**

Meghan walked into the school and bee lined for the bathroom. It was a miracle that she didn't throw up in Olivia's car. When she locked the stall she heard several girls giggle and leave the bathroom. When she was done she left the bathroom and was surprised to see someone else there. She began to wash her face trying to compose herself.

"Hey, are you ok?" The other girl asked sweetly offering her some paper towels.

"Yeah… Thanks." Meghan responded.

"I'm Angela."

"Meghan." She extended her hand and Angela shook it.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah I'm sure but thanks." Meghan responded as the two left the bathroom. Meghan then headed to the front office. When she walked in the secretary was on the phone but smiled up at her and motion for her to come.

"Meghan Chrestler?" The secretary asked.

"Yes M'am." Meghan answered.

"Here is your schedule and… Oh there you are Robert." A boy who just walked in the office approached the desk. "Meghan this is Robert he will help you get around today and tomorrow."

Robert extended a hand, "Nice to meet you, Meghan."

"Nice to meet you too." She responded shaking his hand.

"Well let's get going." Robert said showing Meghan the door.

Once they were out in the hall a girl walked up to Robert and hugged him. She then turned to Meghan, "Hi, I'm Sarah."

"This is Meghan," Robert began, "Sarah is my girlfriend." He quickly responded to the puzzling look Meghan had given him.

"Oh…" Meghan responded feeling slightly sick again. So this is how two people are supposed to act when they love each other. Meghan knew what was coming and once again bolted for the bathroom.

Several minutes later she came out and Robert was standing there. The first bell had rung and so the hallways were empty.

"Hey are you ok?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She responded trying not to snap at him.

"Ok, well what's your first period?"

Meghan looked down at her schedule and responded, "French 3 Gordan room734."

"Ok right this way." Robert lead Meghan to a set of stairs and neither spoke the whole way. "Here you are." Robert said when they reached their destination.

"Thanks Robert." Meghan said and this time she was able to be sincere.

"No problem and I go by Bobby."

"Well than thanks Bobby." Meghan said as she entered the classroom.

The teacher looked up from what she was doing to see who was entering her room. "Comment puis-je vous aider ?" She asked.

"Je m'appelle Meghan." Meghan introduced herself confidently. "Je suis une nouvelle étudiante." She explained handing the teacher her schedule.

"Vous êtes une étudiante de première année? (You're a freshman?)" The teacher sounded shocked. She has had sophomores before but not freshmen.

"Oui Madame, ma famille parle le français. (Yes M'am my family speaks French)"

"Oh je comprends. Prenez une place où jamais vous aimez et nous sommes sur la page 129 dans le manuel trouvé sous chaque bureau. (Oh I understand. Take a seat where ever you like and we are on page 129 in the textbook located under every desk.)" the teacher instructed Meghan who did as she was told.

Meghan just tried to get through each class one at a time. She prayed that she wouldn't have to leave class to go to the bathroom but during every class change she made sure to make a pit stop. Bobby continued to lead her to every class. All the teachers were welcoming. And she manage to make it to lunch without having to go to the nurse or puking on any one. When she walked into the cafeteria she debated about eating or not, she was hungry but she had been puking all morning and she didn't feel like eating.

"Meghan!" Angela called from a few tables away motioning for her to join the group she was with. "Hey you want to eat with us?"

"Yeah." Meghan said taking a seat next to Angela.

"Well this is my gang." Angela said jokingly, "That's Clint and that's Mike, that's Susan, and that is Carrie. And Nathan and Reid and Brooke should be here soon. Oh there's Brooke. Guys this is Meghan."

"Hey Meghan." Mike said as he took another bite of sandwich. Watching this made Meghan want to puke but she tried to ignore it and it went away a little bit. She watched and listened as the groups gossiped and laughed. She had never been part of a group before it had always just been her and Kayley. But this was cool this was nice she didn't feel like they were judging her. Just then she felt it come over her and she barely made it to the trashcan before she vomited once again.

Brooke and Angela came up beside her, "You really need to go to the nurse." Angela said.

"No, I'm ok." Meghan replied.

"Angela said I know you threw up this morning. Please you don't need to be here if you are sick."

Meghan wanted to tell her that she wasn't sick but decided instead that Angela and Brooke could take her to the nurse. She really wanted to go home anyway.

**As always please review and don't worry they next few chapter are about to get interesting. Thanks!**


	27. The Doctor

**Ok sorry it has been so long but things have been super crazy! But the update is pretty long so enjoy. Happy Reading!**

"Well I'm sorry Meghan but neither Olivia nor Alexandra is answering their phone." The nurse looked at Meghan who looked as though she was about to puke again. She then reached into her zipper bag and pulled out Olivia business card.

"She is a detective and this is precinct number where she works." Meghan explained handing over the card.

"Who would you like me to ask for?"

"Detective Munch or Fin."

The nurse dialed the number and allowed the phone to ring.

"Munch"

"Hello Detective Munch?" The nurse inquired.

"Yes?"

"My name is Caroline Regarder, I'm the nurse at Meghan Chrestler's school."

"Is she alright?"

"Well she is sick and really needs to go home. I was hoping you could get ahold of one of her aunts."

"Well they are in court but here comes one of them hold on."

"Olivia." Munch called out as he offered her the phone. Olivia looked at him questioningly as she accepted the phone.

"Benson." Olivia answered.

"Yes, I'm Caroline Regarder the nurse at Meghan's school."

"Is everything ok?"

"Well Meghan has been getting sick and I really think that she need to go home for today."

"Ok, can I talk to her?"

"yeah." The nurse responded and handed the phone over to Meghan.

"Hello?" Meghan answered.

"Hey, It's Liv. You not doing to good?"

"No I'm really not can I please come home?"

"Well I can send someone to pick you up and bring you to the precinct until your appointment."

"Ok that's fine." Meghan rolled her eyes when she realized that she was not going to be babied even though she was sick.

"Ok they'll be there soon." But before Olivia finished her sentence the line went dead. "Ok… Munch could you do me a favor and pick up Meghan?"

Munch looked at her trying to process the question that had been asked. "You think I don't have anything better to do than to go and pick up an angst driven teenager?"

"Fine. Whitney?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you pick up my niece and bring her back here?"

"Yeah sure."

"Ok thanks."

Twenty minutes later Meghan was sitting in the front office waiting for someone to come and get her. Finally a uniformed police officer walked in.

"You must be Meghan." She said as she smiled at her.

"Yeah." Meghan got up and began to leave the office.

"Wait someone has to sign you out." The lady behind the desk informed her. So the officer signed her out and then led her out to the car. Meghan got in and stared out the window as they headed towards the precinct.

"I'm Whitney Bowman." The officer introduced herself.

"Nice to meet you." Meghan snapped back putting an end to all conversation or the rest of the ride.

When they arrived at the precinct Meghan practically ran up the stairs trying her hardest to get away from the officer who had picked her up. She was shocked to find Alex waiting for her when she got up to the squad room.

"Meghan!" Alex exclaimed rushing to hug her niece.

"Stop." Meghan replied pushing her away.

"Is everything ok?" Alex asked.

"Yeah I just feel horrible can I please go lay down?" Meghan was begging.

"Ok, yeah I'll come and get you when we are ready to go to the doctor." Alex told her.

"Thank you." Meghan then walked up to the crib and within seconds was sound asleep.

A few hours later Alex went to wake Meghan up. Meghan was sleeping with half of her body off of the cot and the other half hanging on for dear life. Alex smiled to herself as she gently shook her niece. Meghan bolted up straight trying to take in all of her surroundings. It took her a minute but she soon realized where she was and who she was with.

"Hey." Alex said sweetly.

"Hey." Meghan responded without snapping or even the slightest hint of anger.

"Are you ready to go?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, I guess so."

About 45 minutes later they arrived at the doctor's office and Alex was filling out paper work. Since Meghan had to make yet another trip to the bathroom. Meghan returned and she was wiping her mouth. Alex offer her, her water bottle and Meghan graciously took it, downing it's contents in a matter of second.

"Feeling better?" Alex asked.

"No. I'm not." Now Meghan was annoyed it seemed that no matter what she did that she wasn't going to get a break from this horrible thing she had. Alex had finished filling out the paper work and they didn't have to wait long before Meghan was called back.

"Well Meghan what brings you in today?" The nurse asked sweetly.

"I was raped." Meghan replied bluntly.

"Well we are actually bringing her in to get a physical and to look at maybe some anti-depressants." Alex explained, "We've already been to the hospital and done the rape kit."

"Did they test for pregnancy?" The nurse asked when she notice that Alex had noted the recent vomiting.

"I don't know, If they did they didn't talk to us about it." Alex responded.

Meghan began to tune out the conversation that was taking place. She liked Alex she really did but Alex wasn't her mom. She missed her mom. When she was little and her tummy was upset she was allowed to lie on her parent's bed and watch movies while her mom rubbed her tummy. She really needed her mom to help her through all of this. Meghan was brought out of her thoughts when the nurse started probing her with things to take her temperature and blood pressure. After a few minutes of being annoyed the nurse left the room.

"Good afternoon ladies, I'm doctor Michelle Stephens." She said confidently. "You must be Meghan." She offered out a hand and Meghan rolled her eyes.

"Ok so I got a fax from a Dr. Winker, who has expressed her belief that Meghan could benefit from anti-depressants."

Alex look at Meghan for some kind of response but when it was obvious that there wasn't going to be a response Alex voice her opinion. "Um… yeah I agree. We also need to get a pregnancy test and just a generally wellness exam." Alex continued to explain.

"Ok well, let's do the exam first and then we can get some blood drawn and discuss some anti-depessants."

Meghan rolled her eyes as she accepted the robe that was being handed to her. Alex and Dr. Stephens left the room to allow Meghan to change. 'This is going to be a long appointment' Meghan thought to herself.

**I would like at least 5 reviews. Pretty Please with sugar on top? Thanks!**


	28. The Last Night

**Ok I updated before five reviews. Oh well. Happy Reading!**

Meghan sat there as a nurse cleaned her arm so that they could take blood. The exam actually wasn't that bad. She didn't feel completely humiliated and Dr. Stephens turned out to be quite hilarious. They had decided that Meghan could benefit from anti-depressants and that taking vitamins everyday would also help. But now Meghan was sitting here gripping the arm of the chair so hard that her whole hand turned white. She was trying not to think about the fact that a needle was going to be going into her arm any moment now. Alex was watching Meghan carefully and noticed that she tensed up when the nurse came at her with the needle. Then just before the nurse could stab her Meghan jumped out of the chair, "No!" she exclaimed.

"Meghan?" Alex asked as she reached out to try to comfort the girl.

"No, I don't do needles." She explained.

"Ok, I know I don't do needles either, but why don't you sit back down and I'll hold your hand and I won't let you see the needle." Alex said smiling hoping that it would reassure Meghan.

Meghan sat back down and Alex did her best to position herself so that she could force Meghan to look at her instead of the nurse who was holding a needle. After a few minutes the nurse said she was done and left the room. Meghan then realized she was holding her breath and decided now was a good time to breath.

"Can we go home now?" She asked Alex. She was still completely exhausted.

"Yeah, let's go." Alex said.

The two women arrived home about 45 minutes later. "I'm going to go take a shower." Meghan announced as they were walking in to the apartment. As Alex headed to her bedroom to change into some more comfortable clothes her phone rang and she was surprised to see that it was a text from Olivia.

'_Hey my love. I'm not sure when I'll be home. Dickie is still missing. Love You!'_

Alex quickly responded, '_K, Meghan's appointment went as well as can be expected. Love you too.' _Alex then changed into some clothes and went to make dinner for her and Meghan. Not that she was too sure that Meghan would eat, but she was at least going to make the offer. She decided she wasn't really in the mood to cook and so she settled for some Velveeta. Soon after the pasta was finished Meghan came out dressed in one of Olivia NYPD issued t-shirts.

"Hey, you hungry?" Alex asked when she noticed her niece's presence.

"No not really." Meghan responded and sat down at the table. "When can we go see Kayley again?"

"Well if you want we can go see her tomorrow when you get out of school." Alex suggested.

"Yeah ok, I guess that sounds good." They sat in silence while Alex ate her dinner. "I'm really tired." Meghan proclaimed as she lay her head on top of the table.

"Well… I don't think Liv will be coming home tonight if you want to sleep in the bed."

"Ok sure." Meghan responded semi-enthusiastically. "Alex are you going to get me a new bed when we move?"

"Yeah that was the plan."

"When will we be moving?"

"Pretty soon, next weekend I think."

"Ok good. I'm going to go to bed." Meghan said as she got up and headed down to the bedroom.

Alex cleaned up the mess she had made and then decided that it would be good if she turned in early for the night. When she got to bedroom she smiled to herself because Meghan was already asleep curled up in a little ball almost exactly in the middle of the bed. Then tears started to form in Alex's eyes. She remembered that her sister used to sleep like that all curled up. Sometimes Meghan would do things and Alex would think that her sister had come back from the dead. Alex laid down and Meghan began to stir. She looked at Alex with very sleepy eyes. "Shhh, go back to sleep." Alex assured her, then pulled Meghan close to her. Meghan relaxed into the embrace and quickly fell back asleep.

At 2:17 in the morning Alex phone rang and it was Olivia calling.

"Hello?"

"Hey you need to get down here now."

"Why?"

"There is something you need to see."

"Ok what about Meghan?"

"Ask Mrs. Flay to look in on her and leave her a note or something."

"Ok see you in a bit."

Alex then hung up the phone and jumped out of bed quickly putting on the clothes she had taken off just hours ago. She left Meghan a note explaining where she was and where to go if she needed anything. Then she left the apartment and walked next door. She hesitated and then knocked on the door.

"Hello dear." A sweet old lady answered the door.

"Hi Mrs. Flay I have to go in and I was wonder if you could keep an eye on my niece, Meghan."

"Of course dear."

"Thank you, here is a key." Alex said handing Mrs. Flay the key. Alex then headed for the precinct this couldn't be good.

**Please review if you want me to continue wth the story. Thanks!**


	29. Turmoil Begins

**These next several chapters will take place over Turmoil and Perverted. If you have not seen them the I suggest you try to watch them they are some really good episodes. Anyways Happy Reading!**

"It is 3 o'clock in the morning. Why am I just hearing about this now?" Alex was furious that her detective had missed something so big.

"Extenuating circumstances. Elliot's son is missing." Cragen explain. But frankly Alex didn't care. Things were starting to spiral out of control and she needed control.

"You have just shown me a photo that is going to make the jury believe that our rape victim is a liar. What are you going to do about that?"

"Question Nikki about it." Olivia sounded exhausted. All Alex wanted to do was take her home and wish this whole mess away. But she was still mad and knew that Nikki's case was going to take a back seat to Dickie missing.

"Don't bother. I will do the interview myself." Alex was hoping that maybe she could straighten this whole thing out before she had to turn the photo over to the defense.

"It's up to you. State bar's not breathing down my neck." Elliot said. That really pissed Alex off. Alex knew that Elliot would take stabs at Olivia but he had never thrown a punch below her belt and she was now ready for a fight.

"Because you missed the photo. I don't suppose you forgot Nikki's recant statement as well." She snapped back.

"… No Councilor not a chance." Elliot seemed calm which only pissed Alex off more.

"We are being watched anything you do against protocol stacks the deck."

"You don't get it. I don't care."

"You know my head's not the only one on the chopping block." Alex was hoping to get him to realize that if they didn't handle this properly that he could take down not only himself but Olivia too. And Olivia and Alex without a job now that would be a problem.

"Did you call me down her to help me find my son or not?" A woman with brown hair was being escorted by Fin into an interview room.

"We just have a few questions." Fin explained.

"Who is that?" Alex was now fuming at the fact that the detectives were working another case.

"Shane Newsome's mother, both he and my son are missing." Elliot explained and that only angered her more.

"Detective Stabler does not belong in that interview." Alex was done talking to Elliot now she was speaking to Cragen.

"Well I wasn't going to Councilor, I know procedure." Elliot responded.

"Well If you did she wouldn't even be here." Alex snapped back at him as he handed the file to Olivia and went to observe the interview.

"Stabler is screwing up my rape case and now I can not talk to Nikki Sherman until the morning." Alex told the Captain.

"Cut him so slack Alex."

"Personal investigations involving family members are completely against procedure. You know it I know it and so will 1PP."

"Alex go back home to Meghan, like you said you can't talk to Nikki until morning. Get some sleep." She desperately wanted to give the Captain a piece of her mind but knew that she really did need to be getting back home and since it was obvious that Olivia wasn't coming with her she wanted to make sure Meghan was alright.

When she arrived back at the apartment, she found Meghan still asleep, though not a peacefully as she would have liked. Meghan was thrashing around and when she whimpered Alex decided that it would be a good time to wake her up.

She gently shook her, "Meghan."

Meghan eyes flew open and she was trying franticly to understand where she was.

"Meghan. Ma princesse. Il est bien c'était juste un rêve. (Meghan. My princess. It's ok it was just a dream." Hearing Alex and feeling the gentle circles on her back cause Meghan to relax.

"Il me faisait mal... (He was hurting me.)" Meghan started to explain what had just happened in her head trying to make sense of it all. She was quiet for a few minutes while Alex once again changed into her pajamas and got back into bed with Meghan. "Alors quand ils me mettent dans l'ambulance ce n'était pas l'ambulance, mais ma voiture de parents. (Then when they put me in the ambulance it wasn't the ambulance but my parents car.)" Once again Meghan paused. Alex didn't know if she was done and didn't know what to say so she just pulled Meghan close and hoped that her physical presence was enough to comfort her neice. "La voiture brûlait et je n'étais pas.(The car was burning and I wasn't.)… Pourquoi n'a pas fait je meurs juste avec eux. (Why didn't I just die with them.)"

Alex was stunned by the last question that had come out of her niece's mouth and she didn't know how to respond to it. She wanted to ask which parents were in the car with her but felt the question was irrelevant at the moment.

So she said the first thing that came to her mind. "Meghan. Ma princesse. Il est bien. Vous êtes bien. Nous allons le faire mieux. Je promets. (Meghan. My princess. It's ok. You're ok. We are going to make this better. I promise.)" She didn't know how but she was going to make it better.

Meghan didn't know how this could ever get better but something in her believed Alex and so she was able to get back to sleep.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review. Stay tuned tomorrow night I will post again. Thanks!**


	30. A New Listener

**Sorry but things in my life have gotten super duper crazy. Hopefully I am back. Happy Reading.**

School the next day was painfully slow for Meghan. She was able to keep herself from throwing up by eating some crackers under her desk during class. She was just praying she'd be able to make it until the end of the day.

At lunch time she ate alone in a corner not wanting to have to explain things and she knew if she sat with her new found friends she'd have to tell them about why she was sick and she wasn't ready to tell anyone about that.

Finally the bell rang to dismiss the school. She bolted out the door relieved to find Alex there waiting for her. As Meghan got in the car she had to make a beeline for a trashcan. When she was able to get back in the car Alex handed her a piece of gum.

"Hey, still not feeling great huh?"

"Yeah not exactly." Meghan said sarcastically.

"Well the doctor called."

"And?"

Right as Alex opened her mouth to answer Meghan's question her phone rang.

"Cabot."…"When?"…"I'll be there soon."

After hanging up the phone Alex turned to Meghan, "Hey something came up do you think that you'll be ok at home alone or I can take you to the precinct."

"No, home is fine, but what did the doctor say?"

"You're pregnant…"

Alex continued to talk but the words stung in Meghan's ears and she suddenly felt very sick to her stomach. She was barely able to get the words "Pull over," out of her mouth before she jumped out of the car that was slowing down to puke in some bushes. After she was sure she wasn't going to puke again she got back into the car.

"Meghan we will do whatever you need to do. Ok?"

"Alex can I go and visit Kayley instead?"

"Instead of what?"

"Going home."

"Um Yeah I mean will you be ok at the hospital in the waiting room if they make you leave after some time."

"Yeah I will I have homework and stuff to do. If you give me some money I can catch a cab home."

"Ok if you're sure?" Alex was questioning more than stating.

"Yeah I'm sure. I really miss her."

Alex didn't really have anything to say to that she had no idea what Meghan had been through and Kayley did know. She didn't know how Meghan dealt with some of the things in her life all alone. But it seemed that being closed to Kayley helped her. When they arrived at the hospital Meghan got out of the car and headed up to the ICU hoping they wouldn't give her any trouble.

Alex arrived to find Elliot standing over Shane Newsome's dead body.

"You shouldn't be here." She said as she walked under the crime scene tape.

"Yeah well I've been hearing that a lot lately. Hey you know, you want a badge you come to me not Cragen."

"I did not call 1PP and if he was doing his job he would have kept you on a leash."

Olivia interjected and she sounded pissed. Alex was expecting this she was just hoping that Olivia would be able to understand.

"You're so busy telling us how to do our jobs you forgot to do your own."

"Did you talk to Nikki Sherman?"

"Damn right. I put in a formal request for a new ADA."

The words tore through Alex's heart obviously Olivia did not understand her descision. "On what grounds?" She asked now she too was pissed.

"Professional ethics. You sacrificed a rape victim to save your own ass."

Meghan had walked into Kayley's room to find her sleeping. Well at least to Meghan she was sleeping. She looked at peace. Meghan sat on the edge of Kayley's bed in silence for what seemed like eternity she kept trying to open her mouth and explain things to Kayley but words kept failing her. She looked up when she heard someone open the door and was blown away to see Fin standing there.

"Hey." He said before taking the seat that was available.

"Hey." Meghan responded. They were both quiet for a moment until Meghan's curiosity won over. "No offense Fin, but what are you doing here?"

"Alex called me. She said that she might be a while and asked me to come and check up on you."

"Oh I see." Again the two were silent until Meghan blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

Fin stared at her and Meghan stared back. She had no idea why she had just told Fin that. Sure he seemed like a nice guy and all but she hardly knew him.

"What do you want to do about it?" He asked trying to just be a voice of reason without judging her.

"I don't want it." Meghan said as tears filled her eyes.

"Come on let's get some pizza." Fin said getting up to leave the room. Meghan followed suit even though just the thought of pizza made her want to vomit she just wanted someone to talk to that wouldn't try and fix her. Fin seemed to be that person.

**Not totally sure when I can update again but reviews might inspire me to update sooner rather than later. Thanks!**


	31. The Breakup

**Sorry guys I know this chapter is super short. But life is still super crazy. But since so many of you reviewed this was my first chance to update and I did. Happy Reading!**

Meghan sat there watching Fin devour the pizza like he had never eaten in his life.

"You sure you don't want some?" Fin offered her a slice and Meghan got up heading for the bathroom.

When she returned Fin had eaten the whole thing and Meghan was greatful. She didn't think she would be able to handle watching someone. Then Fin's phone rang.

"Tutuola… Sure no problem." And he hung up the phone. Meghan looked at him waiting for an explanation.

"That was Alex… You ready to go home."

Meghan didn't really want to see Alex or Olivia she wasn't ready to talk not yet anyway but she knew she had to go home eventually. So she nodded and followed Fin out of the diner.

When Alex arrived home she was shocked to see Olivia. But when she realized what her girlfriend was doing she understood.

Olivia notice Alex come in and didn't wait for questions to be asked. "I'll stay in the crib. The landlord called and we can move into the new apartment. You and Meghan can have it since it has two bedrooms. I'd like for you to be out by the end of the weekend. If not then I'll just move into instead." She didn't even give Alex the respect of looking at her while she was talking. She just continued to gather the things she would need until she could come back home.

"Well haven't you just got it all figured out." Alex said not disguising the snap in her voice.

"Yes I do." Olivia countered before going to the bathroom to retrieve her toiletries.

"Liv, Please can't we talk about this?"

"No Alex we can't. I'm leaving end of story."

Alex grabbed her wrist trying to keep her in the bedroom hoping that she have a chance to explain. Olivia turned around to witness the pain, and fear in her love's eyes but she couldn't care about that. Alex had done something that she could never forgive. The Alex she fell in love with would never throw a victim under the bus so save herself. Olivia ripped free of Alex's grip.

"Olivia…" She begged, "let me explain please.

"No Alex I won't." She turned and left the apartment.

As she was waiting for an elevator Meghan and Fin stepped off one.

"Everything ok?" Fin asked.

"Yeah."

Meghan got to the apartment door and looked back to see that Fin was going to ride down with Olivia. She was glad too she didn't really want Alex and Fin to talk about her. She opened the door and walked in. She heard sobbing coming from the bedroom and went to see what was happening.

"Alex?" Meghan asked when she saw her aunt in a heap on the bedroom floor.

Alex looked up and wiped her eyes. She couldn't put all of this on Meghan.

"What happened?" Meghan knew that something bad had happened between her and Olivia after all Olivia was leaving the apartment with an overnight bag in hand.

"I made a mistake and I have to fix it." It was all Alex said. She didn't know how but she needed to fix what she had done. Alex got up and went to the living room getting out her laptop and work things. She had to figure out where the defense was getting this information.

Meghan was stunned to see that Alex didn't want to talk but greatful all the same. She decided that she'd take a shower and then get started on her homework. About a half hour later Meghan walked into the living room to see Alex hard at work. She sat down and got her books out. It didn't take her but maybe an hour to get everything done. And when she finished she got up to go to bed. It was obvious that Alex had no intension of heading to bed soon so Meghan took the liberty and decide to just sleep in the bed. It was going to be the worst and best night of her life all mixed into one.

**Ok I know a cliffie... But I will be back tomrrow afternoon with a really long update and explanation. Thanks. Oh and reviews are nice!**


	32. The Horror Ends

**OK here is an update. Happy Reading!**

Alex finally figured out a way to save the Nikki Sherman case and was walking in the bedroom when Meghan sat straight up screamed in pain. Startled Alex just stood there a minute until she saw that there was blood. She ran over to figure out what had happened. Meghan's pants were covered in blood and she was clutching her stomach.

"Il blesse (It hurts)"

"Ce que fait? (What does?)"

"Mon estomac. (My stomach.)"

"Ok let's get you to the hospital." Alex said as she help Meghan stand up. She headed for the door and really wish that Olivia was here. She reached for her phone and dialed the squad room hoping one of the detective's would be there.

"Munch."

"John it's Alex something is wrong with Meghan she need to be at the hospital now."

"Whats wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Ok I'll send a car."

"Thanks John." By the time Alex had hung up the phone they were at the door and she prayed the car would get there fast. When the two stepped off the elevator Thomas greeted them.

"Oh my God!" He said seeing the amount of blood that was covering Meghan who was still gasping in pain. "I'll call 911."

"I already did." Alex said as she saw the car pull up in front of the apartment building. Tom helped them get into the car and the driver sped away. About five minutes later he pulled up in front of the hospital and help Alex get Meghan inside. A nurse immediately got a wheel chair for her and lead her to the back.

"It hurts" Meghan was screaming at this point as well as squeezing Alex hand so hard that a broken bone was plausible.

"What hurts honey?" the nurse asked with a smile which really pissed Meghan off.

"Her stomach." Alex yelled apparently it had pissed her off too. "Can't you see she is clutching it."

"What's going on?" A doctor walked around the corner as they we pushing Meghan into a triage room. The nurse and Alex moved her to the gurney.

"Abdominal pain." The nurse responded.

"Any chance of pregnancy?" the doctor asked.

"Yes she is pregnant." Alex responded.

"I need a sonogram in her now." The doctor said.

"What's your name?" He asked Meghan as he moved her hands.

"Meghan…" She said in between gasp.

"How old are you?" He said as he pushed on her stomach.

"14 … and I… was… rape…d…" She said as she tried not to scream out.

The nurse returned with the sonogram machine. The doctor lifted up her shirt and put the gel on her stomach. "Push 5cc of morphine." She said as she placed the wand on Meghan's stomach. After a few seconds she said, "Call the O.R. tell them we have an ectopic pregnancy."

The nurse immediately picked up the phone and once Alex realized what was about to happen she practically yelled, "Wait, what?"

"Meghan's baby is growing inside of her fallopian tube which is the tube that connect the ovary to the uterus. It appears the tube has ruptured because the baby got too big and it is causing the bleeding. She needs surgery to save her life."

"What about the baby?" Alex asked and then regretted it because of the look she got from Meghan.

"They baby will not survive if it hasn't died already."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief thankful that this nightmare might finally end for her niece.

Right about then a surgeon enter the room and immediately placed the wand on Meghan stomach again so he could see for himself.

"Ok." He said turning to Alex, "It appears the embryo was lodged at the base of the tube we may be able to restore it without removing the whole tube, but we need to get her into surgery now."

Alex stared at him sure what he was asking for.

"M'am are you her legal guardian?"

"Yes."

"I need your consent."

"Yes of course." Alex said and the nurse handed her the paper to sign.

"Ok let's go." The surgeon said and Alex was able to go with her all the way up to the O.R. Then they pushed her aside.

Another nurse took her arm and said, "I'll take you to the waiting room."

Alex followed her and when she got there she sat down and cried. She couldn't believe what was happening she tried so hard so that her sister's only child could have a good life and so far everything had back fired. She was still crying when she looked up and saw Olivia standing there. She then buried her head in her hands and began to cry harder.

Olivia not knowing what else to do sat down next to Alex and pulled her into a hug. She was shocked when Alex pulled away.

"What are you doing her detective?" Alex asked she couldn't be played like this Olivia had made it clear that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship.

"Munch said you were bringing Meghan to the hospital."

"And?"

"And I don't know." Olivia then got up and left deciding there was nothing she could do here.

A few hours later the surgeon came out into the waiting room. Alex jumped to her feet.

"The surgeon went well. She is out of the woods. We had to remove a small part of her tube but it was at the base so we were able to reattach it. She should be able to have a baby someday if she so desires."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

"You can go in a see her now if you would like. She'll still be out of it though."

Alex nodded and followed the surgeon into the recovery room. There she saw her niece laying there on the bed. She leaned over the railing and kissed her forehead as she moved the strands of hair from her face. Meghan gave her a vague smile before she closed her eyes again.

**Sorry I haven't been consistant in my updates. Please review they are small tokens of happiness in my crazy life! Thanks!**


	33. A End to a Means

**OK so here is another update. Happy Reading! P.S. I actully tried to update this last night and was very disappointed when I realized that the save button had not be pressed. Hummmm. Sad Day :'(**

Alex leaned against a sign that said you must know all bell signals. She didn't know why she was doing what she was doing but she was here. Waiting for Olivia so that they could meet with the man they found Shane's phone on. She was risking her career and she didn't know why. It wasn't like Olivia was going to come back to her for doing this. Even worse was the fact that Meghan was still in the hospital after having surgery. Yeah she had asked Fin to sit with her and he had agreed but Alex should be the one sitting with her niece. Just then the door opened and Olivia entered the hall way.

"After you." Alex said not trying to hid the hurt and sadness in her voice. Olivia glared at her before leading the way. That look broke Alex's heart into a billion pieces. There were two people that Alex would die for and one of them was still angry with her. God she had to make it right. Even though she had figured out a way she didn't know if it was really going to work.

"What are you offering?" The criminal lawyer asked. God that really pissed Alex off.

"The same thing I offered you client before. Nothing." Alex replied the hurt out of her voice and the professionalism settling in.

Olivia noted the change in her tone and was shockingly hurt by it.

"You shouldn't have talked to him at all. Heard there's a state bar investigator in town." The lawyer said smugly, like it was supposed to hurt. But Alex wouldn't let this weasel of a man bring down her ice princess façade.

"Well while you're chumming the waters Mr. Douglas will be arraigned for murder two."

"What? Who's dead?" The criminal retorted.

"The sixteen year old boy who owned this phone, found in your pocket when you were arrested." Olivia answer she was not a good at hiding the anger in her voice. Although Alex couldn't definitely say that it was for her.

"Whatn't me." He said clearly becoming desperate.

"Well if you don't come up with a name, it was" Alex said just a calmly.

The calm in Alex's voice was grinding on Olivia's nerves. How could she be so calm?

"Talking to you will violate his fifth amendment rights." His lawyer said.

This annoyed Alex, she responded, "I don't care what your client does for a living but, murder trumps narcotics everyday of the week."

"When my regular customers are short they bring stuff to barter most of its worthless."

"So you took this phone for drugs. All you had to do was switch out the sim card." Olivia explained. God Alex loved when Olivia was able to scare grown men with her tone.

"He got for dimes and, I got the phone. I din't know he dropped a body for it."

"This regular customer got a name?"

"Don't know don't need to."

"You need to know it now."

"I'm tellin you I don't check I.D. He a nasty ass homeless guy hang out by the alley by the church." He stood up getting very defensive now.

Olivia immediately dialed the phone and Alex breathed a sigh of relief finally something was going right this week.

"Fin… pick up Harold Moore from the hospital and put him in the box."

Alex had to run, which was not easy to do in heels to keep up with Olivia.

"Hey wait up." She called as they left the prison.

"What do you want Alex?"

Alex was stunned by the fierceness of the question, yet Olivia anger seemed to soften her tone.

"Just to tell you that Meghan's going to be ok."

Olivia nodded as she got into the car and was gone in seconds. Alex answered her ringing phone.

"Yeah Fin?"

"I goin' ta have to leave the hospital. You on ya way back?"

"Yeah I'm coming be there in 15." She said hanging up the phone. She would go see Meghan and then see if her plan was going to work at all.

When Meghan woke up she was surprised to see Fin sitting in the room with her.

"Hey kid." He said when he notice that she was awake.

"Hey" She replied.

"Alex is on her way back now. She had to do somethin' and wanted someone to be her when you woke up."

"Oh." Meghan didn't really know what else to say. She still felt really tired and decided that she was just going to close her eyes for a moment.

The next time Meghan opened her eyes she looked over and saw a sleeping Alex in the chair clutching to some papers she had in her lap. At first Meghan tried to sit up by gasp as she quickly realized her mistake. Alex stirred and then came to completely. She was started when she saw blue eyes staring back at her. She sat up and looked over her niece.

"Hey." She said reassuringly.

"Hey" Meghan replied wincing in pain.

Alex leaned over a pressed the nurse call button.

"Can I help you?" A voice asked through the speaker in the bed.

"Yeah can we get some pain killer in here?"

A few moments later a nurse came in holding a syringe. She walked over to Meghan bedside and took off the cap and then tapped the tube to get the air out.

"This may sting a bit going in. Ok?"

Meghan nodded not knowing how else to respond to the possibility of more pain. And the nurse wasn't lying it did burn going in and then she pushed some saline, she explained, which was cold. Meghan did not like how this was making her feel. But she was relieaved when Alex replaced the sheets that Meghan was holding on to with her own hand.

After the nurse left Meghan began to scoot over.

"Meghan what are you doing?" Alex asked alarmed at her niece's action.

"I want you to lay with me… please." Meghan was begging with her tone and her eyes and Alex couldn't refuse. So she climbed up on the bed and allowed Meghan to adjust so she wasn't in pain they placed her arms around her and soon the two were asleep.

**Please review. I have a plan... Evil grins! Thanks!**


	34. Chapter 34

Alex was woken from her uncomfortable slumber when she could feel a pair of eyes on her. She was shocked to see Olivia sitting there. She got up without waking Meghan and followed Olivia in to the hallway.

"Thought you might like to know that Nikki Sherman tried to commit suicide." Olivia told Alex accusatorially.

"What? When?" Alex asked confused and a bit annoyed at Olivia's tone.

"Last night I went to check on her and found her after she had taken a whole bottle of Oxycodone. She barely had a pulse and wasn't breathing."

"Is she ok?" Tears came to Alex's eyes.

"Oh so now you care about her?" Olivia snapped at her.

Alex didn't know how to respond so she just didn't.

"You know Alex years ago you were willing to risk everything for a victim. Specifically Sam Cavanaugh but, I guess Nikki Sherman isn't good enough for that huh?"

"Wow, Olivia." Alex said as the tears streamed down her face. At that time she heard her phone ringing in the room and left Olivia standing the hall way.

Alex grabbed her phone and forgot that Meghan was sleeping when she answered it rather loudly, "Cabot"

"Hey Alex. I brought Amy in last night."

"And?" She snapped not meaning to but she was still reeling from Olivia's low blow.

"She admitted that he bribed her."

"Thanks Fin. Do you think you can get her to my office in an hour?" She was much more pleasant sounding.

"No problem."

"Thanks" Alex hung up the phone and turned to look at Meghan.

"When will you be back?" Meghan asked and as she did the doctor and Olivia walked in.

"Good morning!" the doctor said cheerfully.

Meghan smiled at her.

"So when can she come home?" Alex asked still recovering from the tears.

"Well everything looks good." The doctor said as she pressed on Meghan's stomach. Meghan winced in pain. "So this afternoon."

"That's great." Alex said looking at Meghan.

"Ok I'll send a nurse in, in a few hours with your papers." The doctor said as she left the room.

"So when will you be back when?" Meghan asked again.

"I'll be back before you are discharge. Promise." Alex said as she pulled on her coat and left the room.

"Hey, how ya feeling?" Olivia asked.

"I've been better." Meghan said before rolling over. Olivia began to rub her back when Meghan turned her head to look at her.

"Can you take me to see Kaylie?"

"Yeah, how about when you get discharge we go before we head home." Olivia suggested.

Meghan smiled and turned back over to go back to sleep.

"I have decided to comply with your demand for missing witness statements." Alex said to the scum bag lawyer who was in her office with his client.

"Why, you've already dismissed the indictment." The lawyer inquired

"I refilled again this morning along with additional changes of witness tampering and obstruction." She said quiet pleased with herself.

"You better have the evidence to back that up."

"Could you please send in my witness?" Alex said into the intercom.

"What is going on, I thought you said this was over." Sam Baylor asked nervously.

There was a knocking at the door. "Come in" Alex said.

"What is Amy doing here?" Sam asked his lawyer.

"You remember Amy Wagner; she's the witness you mention during pretrial that said the victim recanted." Alex stated confidently, noticing the uneasiness that Amy had cause in Sam and his lawyer.

"That's right. The prosecution has to make full disclosure, I don't." His lawyer claimed.

"You didn't do your homework. Amy will you please tell us what you told the police last night." Alex tried to make it sound like a question but her tone was clearly demanding.

"I told them I lied about Nikki saying Sam didn't rape her." Amy said shyly.

"And why did you do that?" Alex asked, knowing that she had them right where she wanted them.

"Because Sam gave me things I got invited to parties to hang out." Amy explained.

"You lying bitch. I didn't give you anything."

"Shut up."

"If she lied to me she's probably lying to you. She isn't a very credible witness."

"I think a jury will believe her. Amy are you willing to testify that you sold Nikki out for some clothes and an ipod?"

"Yes."

"thank you."

Amy leaves.

"Make me an offer."

"No."

"are you really going to put a sucidial teenager through a rape trial?

' "All Nikki Sherman wanted was her day in court and I intend to see she gets it."

"What's that mean?"

"It means you're going to prison and you're going to find out exactly how Nikki felt when you raped her on the bathroom floor."

A few hours later Alex was at the nurse's station signing the papers before she went into wake Meghan and get her home. She was shocked to see that Olivia was also sleeping in the chair. Alex walked over and roughly shook Olivia. Then she rubbed soft circle on Meghan's back until she woke up.

"Hey you ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah," Meghan said coming out of her sleepy haze. "Can we go see Kaylie now?"

"Sure" Olivia said when the nurse came in with the wheel chair.

After Alex had helped Meghan, get dressed and then Olivia lifted her into the wheel chair they were on their way up to see Kaylie. Meghan was smile was bigger than it had been in the whole time that she had been living with Alex. Maybe just maybe her niece was going to be ok.


	35. Contentment

**Ok so don't have much to say. Happy Reading!**

It had been three weeks since Meghan's surgery. She was seeing Dr. Winker on a twice weekly basis and the anti depressants were starting to help. Meghan would go visit Kayley nearly every day. She continually gave her updates as to how her life was going and prayed everyday that she would recover. Kayley's father's trial had started and even though Meghan couldn't be in the court room Alex made sure to take exceptionally good notes so that Meghan would know what was going on. Life was improving for Meghan she was even bringing her grades now that she was in a stable household.

Sure she wished that Olivia still lived with them but it was pretty obvious that Olivia may never live with them again. After Meghan got home from the hospital Alex and her had moved into the two bedroom apartment and even though Meghan had her own room most of the time she would end up in Alex's bed because of the nightmares. Sure they were getting better but she was still having them and just being able to go to Alex made her feel a little bit safer.

Meghan didn't know how to describe Alex and Olivia's relationship anymore. Olivia had gotten sick and then been accused of murder and Alex paid for the best damn defense attorney she knew. Olivia then withdrew the request for a new ADA. Only it was kind of difficult to do seeing as she had never formally filed it in the first place. Something she told Meghan alone when they were waiting for Alex. So far Meghan had kept the secret. Olivia would sometimes come over for dinner and the three of them would just enjoy each other's company. But Olivia would never stay the night she'd always go back to her old apartment. Sometimes when Alex would be in court someone from the squad would pick Meghan up from school and take her to the station house so she wouldn't be alone. This made Meghan feel loved.

For the first time since her parents die Meghan felt truly loved. Casey and Serena had taken her to dinner twice. Munch and she had argued about different conspiracy theories, Meghan just like sending him off on a tangent when they were trying to work. The captain had let her sit in his office doing homework so she didn't have to be alone in the crib. And once he took her to get some pancakes when the detectives were out on a late night call.

Fin had become super protective of Meghan and she knew it. She had him wrapped around her finger and loved it. He would listen to her when she rambled about school and whenever he saw somebody look at her the wrong way he'd be ready to knock the guy out. She even started telling him some of the really bad stuff and he just listened. He never judged or tried to make her feel better. His whole attitude towards life reminded her of her dad and that made her miss him. But it also made her feel as if part of her dad was still with her.

School couldn't have been better. She had really started to adjust and her grade were getting better than they already were. She was really starting to feel like part of that little group. They were so welcoming and never questioned her. That made them that much more amazing. She wasn't ready to tell them about her past. She knew that none of them would be able to understand and she didn't want to scare them away. Angela and she would ride the same bus in the mornings and she decided that Angela was becoming her best friend, other than Kayley of course. Yes Meghan was quiet content with her life but of course that's when things start to get rocky.

"Meghan…" Alex said as she poked her head in her niece's room.

"Yeah, I'm up." Meghan said as she actually got out of bed.

"Ok breakfast is ready." Alex said as she left the room.

Meghan was shocked when she saw what was for breakfast. Usually she was offered cereal bagels or toast but not today. Today Alex had made waffles and Olivia sat at the table reading the newspaper.

"Good morning, Princess." Olivia greeted her.

"Morning." Meghan said as she sat down and drenched her waffle in syrup. After taking several bites her curiosity got the best of her, "Liv... when… did… you get… here?"

Olivia laughed as Meghan struggled to ask the question with such a mouth full. "About thirty minutes ago."

Meghan nodded, deciding it would be best not to try to talk anymore. Alex then join Olivia and Meghan at the table bringing two more waffles to the table.

"So what was the occasion?" Meghan asked as she finished her last bite of waffle.

"Well you have a big day don't you." Olivia responded.

Meghan couldn't believe that Alex and Olivia had given her the best breakfast ever simply because she had a chair test in choir and test in French.

"Really that's it?" Meghan questioned, "I mean it's just a chair test and a French evaluación, as Madame calls it."

"Well we want you to do well." Alex explained.

With that Meghan went to get ready for school maybe the other shoe didn't always have to drop.

**Please please please review! Thanks!**


	36. Chapter 36

**I knkow this is super short but I just move to college and now I am suffering from bit of writers block... But hopefully by the end of the weekend I can finish up this chapter and add some more. So sorry guys. Happy Reading!**

Meghan searched the cafeteria for her friends and then ran over to sit with them when she finally spotted them.

"Hey Meghan!" Clint said inviting her to sit next to him.

"Hey." She replied before sitting down. They all laughed and talked and we just normal teenagers. Meghan had never been a normal teenager before she was always worrying about what her next beating would be for.

"So guys I was thinking Saturday we could get together and play some pool or something." Reid started to say, "My dad just remodeled the basement and so there is a pool table and dart board and big screen t.v. and stuff."

"I'm in." Clint said immediately.

"Yeah." Nathen agreed.

Meghan looked around nervously she didn't know what she was supposed to say. She had never been over to a boy's house and didn't know if she would be allowed. But When she heard everyone around the table agreeing she nodded her head too, making a mental note to talk to Angela in choir about it.

It wasn't too much longer until it was time for choir and she saw Angela waiting by the stairs like always did so they could walk together.

"Hey." Angela said as she headed down the stairs

"Hey so this thing at Reid's…" She started.

"Yeah what about it?" Angela asked.

"Well I mean… I've never…"

"Oh whoa it won't be any different than lunch I promise."

"Oh ok then."

"What did you think it would be?"

Meghan shrugged, not knowing how to answer.

"Well it's just friends hanging out. All of us except you and Brooke have know each other forever because we go to church together." Angela explained

"Oh…" Meghan said with relief in her voice. "Ok then I'll talk to my aunt."

"Great it will be so awesome."

"Ok." Meghan said excitedly as she opened the door to the choir room.

**Reviews can help with writers block :D Thanks!**


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